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This is not the first time he has threatened me with a divorce, and also leaving me on welfare if he ever won enough money to do so, and get out of here. Married for 58 years and he claims I do everything in secrecy, even though I take him to all his appointments, rush him to the ER when he has severe problems, (sometimes when they are not, I have found), lost count over these years of how often I did that....he gets mad when I want to go up and visit my daughter, 7 miles away, wants me to be at his beck and call.


I see a counselor every so often, and had to finally explain why, he went bonkers last week, right after I came home from a support group I have been attending just to get away from him for an hour or so, this is when he threatened me the last...I was ready to grab the phone and dial 911, he was that threatening. I made an app. with our neurologist and will see him in a couple more days...explained situation, can't take much more.

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If you husband has been diagnosed with a Dementia then he must have a care team in place. Eg his GP neurologist
have you reported these behaviours to them? Have you discussed your fear for your safety? If not I think you should straight away. Also it could be worth a visit to your local police station to speak with someone about this and what options you have to call them. You need to start building a case and a timeline. I think you could be in trouble here. Is it possible to stay with someone else till this gets resolved?
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Reply to PandabearAUS
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Would it be a good idea to go and stay with your daughter for at least a night? It would let you have a little peace (try a sleeping tablet), and it might let your husband settle down a bit and work out his own best interests. If it takes him in the other direction, it might help you to get a Baker Act intervention.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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I agree, your husband maybe more than you can handle. I really think he needs meds to calm him.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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As I understand it, when a person is Baker Acted, they are admitted to a psychiatric facility for testing and possible prescription for medications. If they are found mentally ill, they can be kept at the facility for treatment.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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I hope your support group has explained and stressed that when a person has dementia, they often target one person with their vitriol and rage. It’s usually their caregiver. It isn’t possible to rationalize his comments, nor should you try.

Is it possible to have him placed in a facility? Applying for Medicaid might be an option. As Community Spouse, you will not be left destitute. It doesn’t sound like you have much of a life, and this could go on for a long time if he is physically healthy. Please consider it before he causes serious physical harm to you. The guns are gone but what about knives and scissors? He sounds like he has the potential.
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no1cares Mar 29, 2019
Yes, the group talks about that many times through our meetings, just one of those things that at times we feel it isn't going to be me...now I know that is not true, and will not put it aside.
Thank you.
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Do call 911 if you feel threatened. He can be Baker acted and be evaluated for 72 hours. It may be quicker than waiting for an appointment. If he is declared incompetent , he cannot divorce. If he owns any firearms, he can be dangerous to you. My cousin ended up as a murder suicide because she did not get help soon enough.
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Reply to MACinCT
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no1cares Mar 29, 2019
Thank you, I wish I had done that, but now it is wait and watch....out....did get rid of guns shortly after he was diagnosed, he can't drive anymore either, so of course I am to blame for all of that...have appointments soon, this is the worst he has been, it will be a long weekend...will see what happens at appointments. thank you again.
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