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she has a friend everyday to bath her all her husband does is cook dinner and put her to bed

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Can a mother of 90, put her son on 67 into a nursing home, when she can' care for him any more. He is an alcoholic and is loosing control of his bladder and feces?
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I agree to little info. But sounds like she can't cook,can't bathe,and can't put herself to bed. "All he does is cook dinner, and put her to bed" that's a lot. And having somone else to come in and bathe her, that's plenty to to a guy who may have physical limitations himself. Lots of elderly can't keep their spouse at home. Dosnt mean they don't want to, it hard on them. Each family has to make that decision themselfs. Nobody chooses to go to a nursing home, just cause they want to. Many realitives are met with patient not wanting to go. If they can keep em at home they are lucky. If they can't, they can't. And they need support.. if im on the wrong path with this because I don't have enough info correct me and I will give you ghe best advice I can:)
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There is no one, that I know of, who would say that they want to go to a nursing home. So that reaction if perfectly normal. I agree with the response above, there is so much information needed before we can give more complete advice.
The short answer is, no, a spouse cannot force his or her spouse to go to any facility. Men, in general and traditionally, have not been raised to think of themselves as caregivers. It is what "women" do. So this may be overwhelming to him. I does not mean, however, that he should shirk his duties or do anything against her will. Perhaps it may be a matter of increasing in-home help until a facility is needed.
The two just really need to talk and voice their preferences and concerns. Maybe a impartial friend or family member can help them with these decisions.
You are a good friend to care.
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I think there's missing information here. A sharp mind doesn't always indicate she's independent and physically capable. Is she toileting herself? Can she navigate her wheelchair by herself (my Mom cannot), can she help with any household chores? Does she take her medications herself or does she need reminders and physical help taking medications? Can she feed herself? Can she move from the wheelchair to bed/sofa/chair herself? There's a lot of things a sharp mind cannot do that can be overwhelming to a new caregiver. If her husband can't do all the things his partner used to do, he may feel she needs 24/7 help that he can't provide. Someone should talk to both people involved about reality(what can you do vs. what can't you do), responsibilities (if you can no longer do this or that then who does it now), and safety (Is this activity or chore safe to do alone or do you need assistance?).

On the other hand, if she's independent, capable, and doesn't need 24/7 care... I'd say the husband should answer to someone about why he wants to move her out of her home.
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