Daisy - My mom went through the same thing for a couple of reasons. 1st she was afraid of falling, it became a huge problem and we wondered if she was loosing her mind. 2nd - after weeks of this she was diagnosed with anemia. The anemia made her really tired and weak. We realized she was tired but she didn't admit to the physical weakness - it's no wonder she feared falling down.
My husband has arthritic hips, which makes it difficult to get about, but was driving to shops and getting around quite well, coping with pain in his own way. In March he suddenly decided he couldn't stand and complained of pain in hip. I had to call paramedics for help and they took him to hospital for xray. He had no fracture, but a few days later developed a kidney infection. He was treated for this and after six weeks was told he could go home, but again refused to stand or walk. He was moved to rehab for physio, but got very little, so has been lying down for twelve weeks. He is back home, still not standing and having carers in 4 times a day. He is twenty stone, so I can't move him about and he is getting very demanding. He is quite content just lying in bed. He is on anti-depressants. Has anyone else experienced this sort of behaviour.
My husband has been home for 6 weeks now and is still not standing. He is being hoisted into armchair daily, but seems content with this and for everyone to run about for him. He keeps saying "have faith in me, I will do it", but I am at the end of my tether. I need surgery myself and I am beginning to wonder if that is bothering him, thus making him like he is.
Some people just give up and you can not force them to walk-just make sure a lift is used to move him and do not injure yourself-if he did not get PT in rehab it was probably because he would not do what needed to be done and the nursing home does not get paid for PT if the pt. does not improve so they stop PT when that point is reached-maybe it is time for him to be placed unless you can afford full time help -my husband was very demanding and I had to tell him I was not comming back in his room for a certain amount of time and stuck to it some times I made believe I did not hear him and he finally learned I would no longer take verbal abuse from him. He is just trying to get attention and I would tell him he needs to help himself more or go to a nursing home after 16 yrs. of cargiving I developed b----.
Is he afraid that if he DOES stand up he'll be in pain? Have you asked him why he has given up? Is he to the point that he is just waiting to die? I would be asking him those questions first. Ask him, if it was YOU doing this, what would he do about it?
Just know someone is thinking of you. What is his age? It is so hard to have a frail, loved one demanding your attention. Especially if he was able & agile before the arthritis took his mobiity.
Know you are doing everything you can to support him. The anger isn't really directed at you, it's his frustration. Doesn't ease your pain, I know.
He deserves to be upset since his body has cheated him. Betrayed him! You are likey his only vent. How can you be strong & callous to his outrages? As sensitive as you can be. You're doing great.
I know ... doesn't help your dilemma. Hang in there the best you can & know people care. Write when you can. Release those anxieties. Might help.
Thank you all for your replies.My husband is a young looking 76years. Up until March everything was fine, going out for the odd meal with family, driving me to local shops and he was doing all the household finances. This has all stopped. He is content to stay in bed, but the carers insist he gets out and into armchair daily. Physio is coming next week with helpers to try and stand him up Although he is 22stone and strong looking, he is a very insecure and demanding man. It's good to know others are out there to urge me on, as I have felt as though my world is ending, after such a happy life and marriage. (Golden wedding next year)..
Thank you LynnPO for your comments.We asked when my husband eas in hospital if a phychologist could talk to him, but it never materialised. We still feel there is something getting to him, as he stopped walking so suddenly. I think you are right to feel it could be fright stopping him. He too has had anemia, but now he has too much iron in his blood. A physio is due to come to get him on his feet. but i think I feel he is scared of that too. It's so frustrating but I will keep encouraging him.
He may have just given up my MIL went from self care to doing nothing in a few short days and never walked again when she was 80 and I insisted my husband help me get her out of bed and she just would not do it and went into a nursing home and was there for 8 years and never again did anything for herself-it happens and there is nothing you can do PT will only work with a pt. as long as they are making progress then medicare and medicaide will not pay for PT after that and it is stopped in a hospital or nursing home as long as the pt. is aware of this nothing can be done-it is sad but that is the reality of health care these days.
Just know someone is thinking of you.
What is his age?
It is so hard to have a frail, loved one demanding your attention.
Especially if he was able & agile before the arthritis took his mobiity.
Know you are doing everything you can to support him. The anger isn't really directed at you, it's his frustration. Doesn't ease your pain, I know.
He deserves to be upset since his body has cheated him. Betrayed him! You are likey his only vent.
How can you be strong & callous to his outrages?
As sensitive as you can be. You're doing great.
I know ... doesn't help your dilemma.
Hang in there the best you can & know people care.
Write when you can. Release those anxieties.
Might help.
Cheers!
Rip