Husband needs nursing home care because of a muscle disease. Could we remain together in a facility?


Husband needs nursing home care because of a muscle disease. Wants to reside with wife of 60 years. Presently at Oak Hills in New Ulm with Hoyer lift for transferring. He is a former school administrator and teacher. Has full mental faculties. We need help soon. We are presently going through a spend down for him so he can qualify for Medicare and Medicaid assistance through Brown County. Our goal is to remain together in a pleasant facility.

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anonymous588634, New Ulm is in a state that does have a waiver program and is often sited as a model for how Medicaid benefits should be administered. So don't give up hope!

Do you have any medical needs yourself?

Is anyone helping you with the spend-down process? Is there a social worker associated with Oak Hills? Maybe on a visiting basis? I'd try talking about your needs with that person.

You might want to use some of that spend-down money to consult an elder law attorney, if you haven't already.

I surely do hope you two can stay together. If that doesn't work out, could you spend your days with him, and go home just to sleep?
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You never know. My mother in law is staying with my father in law at a skilled nursing facility. He needs it ,she can't be alone because she has Alzheimer's. They are letting her stay there . They haven't even paid one dime and owe the facility lots of money. So as I said it could happen.
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anonymous588634, I can understand that you wish to continue to live with your husband. It would depend on the nursing home and qualifications would be required. You would need to be self-pay, and the nursing homes usually average $10k per month.

I knew of a wife who lived in the Independent Living wing in a really nice apartment, while her husband lived in the Assisted Living wing in a studio room. Of course this was an expensive setup as they had to pay for two separate locations. They were able to spend the day together. But since you are looking for Medicaid to help with the pay, usually Medicaid doesn't pay for this type of Assisted Living, unless the State has a waiver program where they will pay some of the monthly rent.

Or maybe you could find an Independent Living complex that offers optional skilled care for an extra fee.
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