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My husband has always been a "controller". He believes all he needs to do is give someone money and they owe him forever. His children will not even talk with him unless necessary. We have very little left and he gets mad because I won't take him to get "his" money. He lost his license and I sold his car because he wouldn't stay out of it when I wasn't home. He wants to buy a car and move to Las Vegas.


He's also mean, yells, screams and throw things at me (this is not an age thing he has always been like this). I do not know where to turn can anyone give me ideas.

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Medicare will supply a walker with Drs. order. So will some supplimental insurances. You just need to go to a local store that sells them. Most pharmacies do. But, he need to learn how to use it. With Dementia that will not be easy. But you, with a drs order, may be able to get a therapist into ur home to show him.

I agree, if you are ever in fear of being hurt, call the police and tell them he can't come back until he has had a Psychic evaluation for meds.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I am another one to ask:

Is the Dementia or Alzheimer's officially diagnosed? (Sometimes Drs just hint it could be..)

Dementia will cause falls. Also lack of insight to use the walker. But then, he may just be stubborn!

Falls also happen due to blood pressure problems, blood disorders, balance issues - so many other things.

When was his last medical checkup?

I have a strong willed (stubborn!) Husband too!

This is what I would do;

* Find out what you are dealing with. Book a Dr apt. Trick him to get him there if you must (eg we need new prescriptions). Tell all. The anger, the falls.

Yelling I could take... But I would leave the room immediately. I would not put up with violence in any way. Eg hands striking out, throwing objects.

* I would call 911 if any violence or the next fall (if he is having trouble getting up). Tell them you are afraid for your safety, there is something wrong with him & he keeps falling.

He can be admitted for *falls for investigation*. Then talk to Hospital Doctor about his behaviour.

If this IS Dementia - it's best to know. Then make appropriate plans for his & your future.

Please come back & update.
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Reply to Beatty
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Sounds like it past time for a visit to his doctor for testing. He is way out of control. He may be respond to a medication. The falls are definitely not a good sign. If you try to keep him at home you need a daily caregiver for help. If he keeps falling a trip to the emergency room is in his future. At the hospital you can get some suggestions about what is available in your area for assistance from the case worker.
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Reply to InFamilyService
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According to your profile, your husband has dementia.

You stated your husband has fallen 5 times in the past two weeks and that he has become more aggressive.

Frequent falling and changes in behaviors is an indication that he me need medication or medication adjustment.

I think it is time for your husband to be evaluated.
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Reply to haileybug
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Your profile says your DH suffers from dementia/ALZ. If so, it sounds like he's in need of placement in a Memory Care Assisted Living residence. Dementia can reach a point where it's unsafe for you to be living with him because his violent behavior can erupt and put you in jeopardy. Question why you are allowing such a situation to continue?? He's always been this way, but he is probably getting worse, right? If so, call 911 the next time he throws something and let the hospital do a full evaluation on him. Let them know you are not capable of taking him back home with you, that you feel it's unsafe to do so. That's what I would do. Nobody has the right to harm you or threaten you in any way, sick or not sick, disease or no disease. You're life is just as important as HIS life.

Please take care of YOURSELF now, ok?
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Do you want to stay with a man who is violent, controlling, and abusive? You say this isn’t new behavior, so why have you stayed for it? Now he’s at a point of needing care that’s likely beyond what you can provide, but either way, you need to first decide if you want this relationship at all
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Does your husband have a diagnosed dementia?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Topchefmom Oct 28, 2020
I've tried getting him diagnosed but they give him some simple questions that he answers correctly so it goes not further. When he fell a couple of weeks ago after eating at a restaurant they wanted to take him to hospital and he said no. They ask me if I had medical control and I don't so they couldn't take him. I'm in process of installing cameras and recorders in our house so I can record his behavior. He is only like this around me not others so I have no proof.
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