My husband keeps losing things. Is he slipping into stage 3 already?

My husband "misplaces" things constantly. He has PD, too, (I'm not sure what stage, no doctor has told me, I will ask.) I try to think of it as a treasure hunt every day... "Let's go find your glasses, wallet, keys, whatever." He does fine during the day, usually, but sometimes "sundowns" at night.

Oh, also... there is a new product called Tile that you can attach to things and an app on your cell will locate them. I will get the app on MY cell because he loses that, too.

Thank you, SunnyM. We were fortunate that we got his cell phone back. I called it and the nice young man who found it answered. I want to get one of those holders that fasten to his belt for him to keep it in. I also purchased a cell for me. It was scarey because our house phone system went out that day also.

I found the stages of PD listed on-line somewhere. I'll look into Tile.

We are looking for his wallet right now. Never a dull moment! I'm ordering Tiles today.

I'm wondering about getting him a "fanny pack" where he could keep his keys, money, wallet and cell phone when we go out. Do they still make them? As long as he didn't take it off, he wouldn't be able to lose anything in a store..

Yes, they do still make them. I think TravelSmith has some of the best, because there is a metal cord through the waistband so that it can't easily be cut off by a thief. But you could probably find one wherever you are. Would he agree to wear it, or would it be too "sissy"?

I think he'd wear it because he had one years ago when the things were popular. I'll let you know if it works.

Thanks. My husband would not, he would see it as too "girly." That's why I'm ordering the Tiles, even though they're a little pricy.

My husband is 73 with PD for sometime now...in fact I have been looking into skilled nursing...he almost totally depends on me I shave him, shower him, have to help him dress, take care of bathroom clean ups you all understand that I am sure..sigh this is starting to take a toll on me now as well...I would like to know the stages also ....

Laney -- according to the list I found on-line, it sounds like your husband is in stage four. The last stage (five) is when he will need around the clock nursing care. My Al is 77.

Amott6.....are you still caring for your husband? I feel guilty looking into skilled nursing but I feel myself being drained ..then I read horror stories of nursing homes and feel I am in a no win situation. What stage do you think your husband is in?? Bless you and your family

My Al is only in a stage 2, slowly progressing to a 3. He can still take care of his daily needs. My caregiving right now is mainly reminding of him like which street he needs to turn on to reach his doctor and taking his cane to prevent falls.

Where I live, we have something called "5 County Council on Aging" which can help you get people who can come to your house to help with your spouse if he doesn't have medical needs and is mobile.

Stage 5 is the end of the line one, where he won't be able to get out of bed and you will have to feed him, etc. At that stage, you will need to move him to a home. You might start visiting the ones in your area now so that when the time comes, you'll be better able to make the decision. All homes are not the same.

These are the men we've loved all our lives and depended on for strength and support. Even the thought of sending Al to a home is mind boggling. I feel your pain and will remember you in my prayers.

Amott....I pretty much an total caregiver already....my husband can go to bathroom if he only has to potty otherwise I have to take care of him. I shave,shower, and cloth him ....he can still,get that spoon to his mouth...I went to a meeting last night with my daughter on veterans benefits they have to have been a vet during a war time...the will pay 2,049 a month toward skilled care thank goodness..... Yes it is so hard to see your loved one slipping away before your eyes .....wishing you and your husband the best.... Eileen

I'm 62 and losing things. Actually I lost more things when the kids were small. Never did find my smartphone, which OK because I hated the damn thing.

Al has a "fanny pack" now and he will use it instead of just stuffing everything into his pockets. Hopefully, this will prevent him from losing important things in parking lots.

Do you want to know how many pairs of gloves/mittens I lost in the winter of '95/96, when I was age 50? Well, I don't want to tell you. :-)

One factor in judging someone's progression is the baseline. Did he lose things often when he was "normal"? That is a little different than someone who hardly ever lost things suddenlybeginning to lose things right, left, and center.

Many years ago my mother had an unexplained seizure. The doctor was trying to see what lead up to it. All seven of Mom's kids were assembled. "Has she had a poor memory lately?" We looked at each other blankly. "Well," he tried to explain, "has she been forgetting the names of her grandchildren?" In spite of the seriousness of the situation we all burst out laughing. She gets OUR names wrong, never mind the next generation. This has been going on since she had more than one child. So that particular example didn't tell us anything about changes in her current status.

In addition to looking at lists of symptoms, it is important to use what you know about your loved one's abilities and weaknesses before the illness, to judge how serious the current symptoms are.

LaneyM - (and everyone else please read this as you may be eligible for Veterans Aid & Assistance Program) LaneyM - you mentioned you went to a meeting to learn about Veterans Aid Benefits. The Veterans Aid & Assistance is a wonderful program, but a word of caution. Many meetings that discuss the program are held by investment firms. They say they will assist you in filing out the paperwork for free. They will do that but their main reason to help you is to get you to invest with their company. That's fine, if you're ready to invest money. Also do not go to any organization that requests that you pay them to help you fill out the forms. Go directly to your local veterans administration office or give them a call and they will help you free of charge. Check with your County Offices - many have a veterans dept. and they will assist you for free in filling out the paperwork. You should never have to pay anyone to assist you with that paperwork. Yes, you are right the person applying must have served in the military during a declared wartime. Also their spouse is eligible for benefits. You do not have to spend down your money like applying for Medicaid. The applicant will be able to keep any ss checks, pensions etc., that they receive. This program basically assists you financially, not based on your financial needs, but the fact that you or your spouse served during a declared war. To qualify for A&A it needs to be established by your physician that you require daily assistance by others to dress, undress, bathing, cooking, eating, taking on or off of prosthetics, leave home etc. You DO NOT have to require assistance with all of these. There simply needs to be adequate medical evidence that you cannot function completely on your own. Go to www.veteranaid.org and on the left side of the page you will see "The A&A Program". Click on that and it will give you a lot of information. Benefits are paid if the person needs to be put into a nursing home or an assisted living. It also provides benefits - visiting nurse, etc., if the person is still at home. The applicant will not receive benefits immediately upon filling out the application since it can take months for processing. However, once approved they will pay retroactive back to the 1st day - it's just that you may have to wait until the first payment arrives. It's a wonderful program and every veteran and spouse that is eligible should take advantage of the assistance - they fought for our country - now they should be helped. Good luck & God Bless!

Thank you Elaine for all your valuable information. The people who were conducting the program I attended were a retired minister and a lady they were not or did not work with Va....they fill out the forms for free as many elderly have problems filling out this 26 page application/you get one thing wrong they reject it and you have to wait another entire year.....they have had 100% approval so far on all forms they have done....but you need to be careful for sure who you get to help you....a lot of people,don't know of this benefit they tend to keep it hush hush
Thanks again for your information will going to that web site need all the info I can get

My dad is 73. I think he is stage 3. He also loses everything so I know the treasure hunts everyday and night. I really love when he just has to find something that is not needed at that moment. My mind is starting to be photogenic-like, when in my head I see where it was laying around (as long as it is in the house). He shuffles, talks low and into his chest, but his mind is hanging in there and thank goodness we are not at the stage of total care. My husband and I live with him. We have been married 8 years and only been out on our own life for a year. Previously, we were caregivers for my mom who passed from breast cancer. So, it has been a long time that I have been care giving. I am in CT and wondering if anyone has ever participated in a Parkinson's study where they work on motor skills, especially with the difficulty walking and if it helped anyone. We are working on supplements to help him get stronger and help him to detox, since Parkinson's make it hard on the body to normally detox. I am hoping detoxing helps makes the oil he excretes through his hands better. (I have to wash surfaces at least 3-4 times a day, which is still better than what most are dealing with in bathroom clean up. Unfortunately when that time comes, I will have to get a nurse in to help because I just can't do it. I feel stretched so thin, find it hard to have a life of my own and am worried and stressed about his disease increasing. I am thankful he is still walking with his walker, but it is getting difficult for him. He is such a social guy who used to go out more and it is so hard watching him not be able to do what he loves. On losing things when we are out, I hold all his things so the stress is not there, I know nothing has been misplaced or dropped. I want to thank everyone for their comments. It really helps to read what others are going through and what I have in store for me. I have siblings that just do not want to know, which adds another stress making me full everything. I am hanging in there and trying to do the best I can. This site has been very helpful. Thank you everyone for listening and sending prayers of strength your way.

Hi, blueeyed ... My husband is not quite as bad as yours is. He does the shuffle, the mumbling with his head down, shakes and drops/loses things. But he still walks without the walker and is still social. To answer one question, I don't think the PT he had at the balance clinic didn't help very much but he hasn't fallen in a couple of months now. Al is a very smart man, graduated cum laude from college and went on for a PhD. I think this has helped with the PD. I dread the day when he will need help with more things if his mind stays so alert. We got him a "zipper" necktie and a shirt that has velcro instead of buttons so he can still dress himself.

I know it is different when it's your father instead of a husband. I lost both my parents before they ever needed help. Just hang in there, get help when/where you need it and try to keep smiling.

Prayers and good thoughts to all because this is not an easy job. I have just started checking into nursing homes and am feeling really guilty in doing so. I am also going to check into help coming into the home. I have been so tired lately and depressed I feel like my husband is attached to me at my hip I know that is depression. I love my husband to the moon and back but this is so very hard watching them loose control of all the things they once could do.. I have a hard time remembering how he looked before I have to look at pictures.
Take care all I know how hard it is....god bless us and give us strength

Hang in there LaneyM. Don't feel guilty, it is a hard thing to get through and when you need help, you need help. You are doing what you need to do to help your loving husband. Check out Companions and Homemakers, I am not sure if they also come in to help bathe, etc., but even someone to come in and hang out with him while you can get yourself out for a while will help. I understand, I feel like my father is attached to my hip also. The most frustrating thing for me is that he doesn't remember anything I tell him and feels like I am just giving him hell, which I am not. Not sure if he is tuning me out or if it really means he doesn't remember (You know how hard it is to let someone help you when you want to be able to do it yourself). I never had children, but feel like I have one now, except he is not so willing to help out like young children that like to help mom sweep, clean, etc. It is definitely a turn around for me. Hang in there. I know how it feels to be tired and depressed and not want to get up and do the same thing again, day after day. My prayers are with you and your husband. If you ever need to just vent and express your feelings, feel free to send me a message. It feels good to talk to people going through similar situations. This forum has helped me feel much better about myself and the situation. Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences.

Ugh. Al is obcessed with identity theft so that every piece of paper that has his name/address on it must be shredded. Problem is the shredder is in my office. He rips out the labels and usually drops them all over my room. I then pick them up and dispose of it for him. The stress of the hot water heater problem is behind us now but he is still very shakey after it. Do I need to check with his neuroligist if it continues? Perhaps he needs a higher dose of his meds?

@amott6 - wouldn't hurt to check. Our neurologist did that once with dad when his shaking was really bad. There may be another solution he may recommend instead of increasing his meds. Ours is reluctant to increase and I don't blame him...meds can cause more of a problem sometimes and I always feel if there is something else that can help is always better than a med increase, but definitely ask your neurologist and see what he says. My dad loves to shred, which makes me happy...I feel for you picking them up off the floor. Dad was a pitcher and still tries to "pitch", which includes his clothes into the hamper, newspapers not making the rack, etc. I can say my back is very unhappy with the constant bending over, not to mention it is very irritating when trying to keep the house clean and take care of him. I have tried to bite my tongue because if I ask him to stop he says he is catching heck lol, poor guy. I am still learning patience. Hope it comes soon! :D Good luck and God bless!

His neurologist is a she, and she's very thorough. I think I'll give it a couple of days to see if he calms down a little. Picking up things up off the floor is hard for me because I had surgery last year and have 8 pins and 2 rods in my back now. Parts of me don't bend like they used to. But I've learned new ways of doing things. I guess that's what we do best -- bite our tongues.

Amott6- hang in there. And yes we do learn lots of new ways of doing things. Just wish I could learn a lot more patience :D

The latest problem is sleep. Al sleeps nearly all day and our primary doctor told him that it is normal. Yesterday, he got up at 10, went for some blood tests and a short stint at the gym, then ate breakfast and went back to bed. He didn't get up again until 4:30. I don't know how much he slept last night, but he was asleep every time I got up for my potty breaks. Is this a normal pattern?

I'm feeling very good now because I had my epidural. These shots are keeping me from having more surgery. I don't know how long I will be able to keep getting them before it becomes dangerous. The surgery would mean another fusion, bone removed from the other hip this time, wearing a brace for 3 months, with 3 months of PT after that. Not a pleasant thought. Al couldn't take care of me a year ago and my poor daughter was run ragged between her job, her bi-polar husband and her grandchildren. I get so depressed thinking about it.

Assisted Living is not an option for us -- even if we sold everything we own, we'd only have enough $$ for one of us. Makes a person wonder if the struggle to get Al through ten years of college was worth it.

I don't know what stage my husband is in, but he has PD-related dementia. He does pretty well during the day, but "sundowns" in the evenings. He wakes me up 2-3 times at night. Last night, one of the wake-ups was to see whether I was warm enough. I appreciate the concern, but he didn't have to wake me up to ask! He has always lost things, but now it's a "treasure hunt" every day-- keys, wallet, glasses, etc. I have an odd auto-immune illness, and am not sure how long I can continue to do this. I want him to stay home, but I don't know how long I can care for him.

Somehow you need to get your rest. Do you still sleep in the same room with him? Perhaps if you had separate rooms he wouldn't keep waking you up. But it's nice that he's concerned about your welfare. I heard someplace that staying awake all night is "normal" for someone with PD. My Al often has restless nights when he thinks he's not slept at all.

Hi Laney..my husband is 75 also with pd forsome time now. He requires round the clock care and sadly has been in a nursing home for the past 3 yrs. It's hard, but I just can't care for him at home. Cannot walk, has garbled speech (not understandable), diskenisia and needs help eating. I visit him almost daily (one day away for errands) and help him with lunch. One different thing is that to date he has not exhibited any signs of dementia.His dr. does not go by "stages" but I often wonder.