I did not know my wife was suffering from Alzheimer's until it was too late to get POA. Recently, I tried to refinance my home because I need help taking care of her, however, we cannot go to closing because she cannot sign. My finances cannot survive a long legal battle trying to get three of her relatives to sign papers to give me POA because they will think I am trying to get something they are entitled to. Is there nothing I can do to be in control of my own financial situation because I wasn't sure what the problem was?
I hope that your wife is still deemed competent to sign a POA form naming you. It would be so much easier.
My boss's wife worked for two years at the family company after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She decided to retire on her own as doing the accounting was becoming a challenge for her... but she continued to understand legal documents for several more years after that.
Therefore, maybe you can still get a Power of Attorney for your wife, and have her pick a secondary person just in case something should happen to you. The secondary person can be anybody, a CPA for the financials. Now for medical POA, usually it would be a relative who is secondary, or a very close friend.
Hopefully your Wills are current, or under a Trust. Living Wills are good to have.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/never-got-power-of-attorney-before-incapacitated-215348.htm
Assuming that they don't hold court authority, as others wrote, execution by her of a POA is dependent on her level of cognizance.
But there are other options - you address a refinance. As FF suggests, you can refinance in your name only. Are you refinancing to get a lower interest rate? If not, what's the reason for this and is it absolutely necessary? Or are you getting a HELOC to fund her care?
I think you might want to take a step back, think through the whole issue of why you need a POA. I.e., are your assets jointly held? Or are there assets in her name only? Why do you specifically need proxy authority?