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He suddenly (for the last week) is more and more uncooperative. Refuses to listen to me and follow my suggestions. Today he refuses to wear the incontinence protection and refuses to get up. After lots of coaxing he finally took his medicine, now tells me I am from hell and to keep my mouth shut. Refused to let the care-givers we have coming in for 2 hrs twice a week touch him or help him with the toileting. How can I get him over this anxiety phase? How long will this last?

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Many dementia patients are occasionally uncooperative. Some more than others. I think that medication can help some, but you will have to discuss it with his doctor to find one that might help him feel better.

You might make sure he's not injured, sick or in pain. Sometimes they aren't able to communicate that and they act out instead. Does he have any rash or sore spots that are sensitive. Is the soap too strong. I'd rule those things out.

If it's not that, then it takes various attempts to get the cooperation. That requires lots of patience, time and effort. It may not ever get better as long as he is verbal and has the strength to protest.

My loved one is on Cymbalta and that helped tremendously with her agitation. She still sometimes needs encouragement to get out of bed and allow her baths, but it's much better with her on Cymbalta.

Sometimes the rapport they have with the person providing the care can sometimes play a part too. I think they sense people who are impatient, nervous or in a hurry. Has that changed lately?
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sudden behavior changes are common when the person has a UTI.

Understand the possible causes and share them with your contacts at the local police community officer, family and friends.

I aggregate (collect these tidbits on
"Dave Mainwaring's Knowledge Network" )

Sunrise Syndrome,(sun?riz) a condition in which a person with Alzheimer's wakes up rising in the morning and their mind is filled with delusions which include include beliefs about theft, the patient's house not being their home, a spouse is an impostor, belief an intruder is in the house, abandonment, spousal and paranoia, people eavesdropping. Sometimes the person may carry over content of a dream.

One observation is that Sunrise Syndrome is different from Sundowning because the person may wake up in a confabulation mind set. During a Sunrise Syndrome conversation with the content may filled with confabulations; verbal statements and/or actions that inaccurately describe history, background and present situations.

Sundowning in contrast displays as confusion, disorientation, wandering, searching, escape behaviors, tapping or banging, vocalization, combativeness; the demons of anxiety, anger, fear, hallucinations and paranoia come out.


Hallucinations and delusions are symptoms of Alzheimer's disease and other dementias. With hallucinations or delusions, people do not experience things as they really are.

Delusions are false beliefs. Even if you give evidence about something to the person with dementia, she will not change her belief. For example, a person with dementia may have a delusion in which she believes someone else is living in her house when she actually lives alone. Delusions can also be experienced in the form of paranoid beliefs, or accusing others for things that have not happened. For example, the person with dementia may misplace an item and blame others for stealing it. Some people with dementia may have the delusion that others are "out to get them." For example, he may believe that his food is being poisoned.
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Medication, medication, medication!

I learned the hard way that memory loss/dementia causes anxiety and that anxiety eventually can lead to paranoia with a capital P. Things go along, go along, go along--and then they don't. That is the point at which you need the right medications. You have arrived.

My mom's family doctor it turns out, was not giving enough of the right stuff to have any impact. After about 18 months of her distrust and surliness, we sent her to a Senior Behavioral Center; there are many all over. She was there for ten days and they fine-tuned her medications. The result? She is a different person!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Calm, pleasant, and happy to see me whenever I arrive. I am so grateful to the scientists and doctors who made this possible. The bill? After insurance, only $1,000. Well worth the money!
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I am afraid it is all in a day's work for the caregiver to a loved one with dementia. As suggested check for infections. he will not necessarily have a fever but the urine may smell strong like old fish. Try not to fight with him. It won't hurt to accept his decisions for a couple of days as long as you can keep him clean and dry and provide food and more importantly fluids. After that time for a call to the dr's office or a trip to the ER. Do you have plans in place for when he gets too much for you to handle alone?
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Alpha, from what I have read on the forums here, if someone has Alzheimer's/Dementia [as per your profile] there will be a time when you cannot reason with them.... sadly that is how this disease works. Hopefully it will be a short-lived phase.

To learn more about Alzheimer's/Dementia go to the blue bar near the top of the page.... click on SENIOR LIVING.... click on ALZHEIMER CARE... now scroll down to the various topics. Lot of good information there.
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Alpha3, I agree with Salisbury. The distrust comes from a progression of the disease. There is no more logic or reasoniing available to him. The anxiety comes from not knowing whom to trust or what to do. He pushes that feeling away by blaming you. Only medication in sufficient dosage will help. Keep complaining to the physician until you are heard and he gets enough medicine to keep him calm.
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Something may hurt or he may have an infection, even a bladder infection that may otherwise have no outward signs, and he can't reason out that getting up and getting care will make him better, not worse. The instinct to just be still and avoid doing anything when you have pain is pretty strong, and he can't cognitively graps why he should make himself do something he does not feel like doing or fears may be uncomfortable even temporarily. It is not likely anything you did or did not do. But, the person with dementia often blames something external for why they feel bad, and you are the most handy and the most safe for that pupose.
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Good advice to check with doctor. My experience: after my sister and I both suffered for months with her paranoia, the doc prescribed a tiny dose of an antipsychotic. Almost immediately, my sister was happy, content, cheerful and not paranoid. And there have been no side effects! I hope. You are as lucky as my sister and I. It must be really miserable to feel as paranoid as she did.
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Did someone recently have a talk with him, visit, like his side of the family? Anyone critical of you there?
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Not an expert here, and was asking myself the same question, wondering if it is a change that will last. Someone posted awhile back that she would not take the abuse. The diagnosis is different, but after treating with kindness (not sucking up), posting a notice of briefly what was expected and the consequences, the distrust faded. I was amazed that after being on his side for so long, he would not trust me.
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