Me and my husband live out of the State from where my mom is now in a hospital awaiting a nursing home to take her into a memory care. First diagnoses is Dementia with behavioral problems and this was a fast moving Dementia. Her MMSE score was 11 out of 30. I'm having a hard time with the social workers help of finding mom a nursing home that will take her. I've been having chest pains and stressed to the max. Thinking of going to my doctor and asking for my husband to come here. I need a support system. Such as if I go to see my mom who is over an hour drive away. I would have someone to drive me home. I'm a person who tends to skip food all together because of stress. I know that is not good. There is no back up POA. We have a second home in the State where I'm curtainly at with my mom. But he works where our other home is now. Do you think FMLA would cover him coming here to be my support person? I have bad nerves and have been taking care of her on my own since September 11, 2017 when she was released from jail. I also don't want to lose my right as her POA. I know some of this is written poorly. My mind is over taxed and it is hard to focus. I just want my husband to hug me and say it is going to be okay. Signed: Desperate in Indiana
You have a lot going on. I’m so sorry you are so stressed out.
If your Mom has behavioral problems have her seen by, evaluated, and treated by a Geriatric Psychiatrist. This may have to be done in a Geriatric Psyche Unit. My Mom did a 10 day stay in one. She liked it and didn’t want to leave.
When they get Moms mood stabilized, and behaviors under control she will be much easier to place.
The Social Worker may be able to help you find resources for your Mom. Ask for Geriatric Psychiatric Services.
Hang on. Hope your hubby can join you soon if only for a short visit.
Have the social workers suggested a psychiatric facility? That may be where your mom needs to go, at least right now, to get her behaviors stabilized with meds.
It is not an abuse of trust to get an ill or vulnerable person what they need, rather than what they want. What mom wants may not be in her best interests right now.
Have hubby be careful how much of the FMLA he uses up. When my parents needs more help I refused to take time off, because at the end of 3 months, my parents would have still needed more time.
Thankfully I had refused to use FMLA because out of the blue I came down with a very serious diagnosis and I was glad to have have FMLA for myself during that time. Plus my company had Met-Life insurance to pay me half my salary while I was out for those 3 months.
Good luck to all three of you!