My husband is 700 miles away and I'm POA for my mom. Do you think FMLA would cover him coming here to be my support person?


Me and my husband live out of the State from where my mom is now in a hospital awaiting a nursing home to take her into a memory care. First diagnoses is Dementia with behavioral problems and this was a fast moving Dementia. Her MMSE score was 11 out of 30. I'm having a hard time with the social workers help of finding mom a nursing home that will take her. I've been having chest pains and stressed to the max. Thinking of going to my doctor and asking for my husband to come here. I need a support system. Such as if I go to see my mom who is over an hour drive away. I would have someone to drive me home. I'm a person who tends to skip food all together because of stress. I know that is not good. There is no back up POA. We have a second home in the State where I'm curtainly at with my mom. But he works where our other home is now. Do you think FMLA would cover him coming here to be my support person? I have bad nerves and have been taking care of her on my own since September 11, 2017 when she was released from jail. I also don't want to lose my right as her POA. I know some of this is written poorly. My mind is over taxed and it is hard to focus. I just want my husband to hug me and say it is going to be okay. Signed: Desperate in Indiana



As I recall, FMLA does not consider and in-law a relative. Grrrrr.... So maybe Hubby could get his job held for him to care for you but not to care directly for your mother. Hmm. My information is several years old -- we can hope it has changed. I'm sure that his personnel director can explain his options to him.

Good luck to all three of you!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to jeannegibbs

Belle41, FMLA [Family & Medical Leave Act] which is good for 3 months every 12 months. If your hubby takes FMLA, have him check with his Human Resources to see if the company has insurance such as AFLAC which will pay an income amount to an employee.

Have hubby be careful how much of the FMLA he uses up. When my parents needs more help I refused to take time off, because at the end of 3 months, my parents would have still needed more time.

Thankfully I had refused to use FMLA because out of the blue I came down with a very serious diagnosis and I was glad to have have FMLA for myself during that time. Plus my company had Met-Life insurance to pay me half my salary while I was out for those 3 months.
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Reply to freqflyer

FMLA is really nothing more than a law that requires an employer to hold you job open for a period of time while you deal with a family medical situation. It does not provide for any monetary benefits or salary continuation during the period of leave.
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Reply to AlfredR

Belle, if I follow you, your mom was in jail, then sent to the hospital and is now awaiting long term placement?

Have the social workers suggested a psychiatric facility? That may be where your mom needs to go, at least right now, to get her behaviors stabilized with meds.

It is not an abuse of trust to get an ill or vulnerable person what they need, rather than what they want. What mom wants may not be in her best interests right now.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn


You have a lot going on. I’m so sorry you are so stressed out.

If your Mom has behavioral problems have her seen by, evaluated, and treated by a Geriatric Psychiatrist. This may have to be done in a Geriatric Psyche Unit. My Mom did a 10 day stay in one. She liked it and didn’t want to leave.

When they get Moms mood stabilized, and behaviors under control she will be much easier to place.

The Social Worker may be able to help you find resources for your Mom. Ask for Geriatric Psychiatric Services.

Hang on. Hope your hubby can join you soon if only for a short visit.
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Reply to lizzywho61

Pepsee: Thank you for the hug and responding. I hate being a such a weak person. I've always been the person in the family with a big heart. That is why my mom made me her POA and medical papers in 2002 right after my father passed away. She knew I would never abuse her trust. Hugs right back at you :)
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Reply to Belle41

Belle, it IS going to be ok. Hang in there, a lot of people on this site will have great advice for you. Please don't think you can't do this, because you can, you are already doing it. Big hugs!
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Reply to Pepsee

Highly unlikely FMLA would cover this.
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Reply to worriedinCali