Paying for these homes killed us and now that I can do something they are telling me my husband has to be home for the loan to go through?

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After 2 long years, my husband is in a memory care home that is working out. The owners run it, and there are 3 caregivers that live there full time. But the last 7 months have been a full blown nightmare. All our money is gone. One place that was supposed to be temporary after his rehab stole 2,500.00 and I was going to use it to pay for the home he is in now.
Expenses were high here at our home, taxes, insurance, I sold the car, just to pay the memory care home. I went to the ER last November for a staph infection,and then talked to a person at the hospital about Medicaid. As always I put my husband first and was able to get him approved. December, I lived on minute rice all month. Then out of complete frustration I called some one that handled my divorce from my first husband many years ago, to inquire about divorcing my sweetheart:(( the financial burden along with the abuse I was receiving from these homes, we're killing me. She put me in touch with a wonderful humanitarian lawyer who I met with. He looked at the trust papers and power of attorney, and told me I should have seen some one a year ago. Anyways, I obtained 2 signatures from my husband's doctor stating his incapacity, and met with a loan company to borrow against the house. I need to pay back rent for the place he is in and cover other expenses. I am now the trustee. We have no mortgage, good equity, there is no one else. My question, when I made the appointment for credit counseling, I didn't complete it.
Because he said the loan would not go thru because my husband is not living with me. I am not on the deed, but what is going on? It's for him, I sign the papers the right way, everything. The whole point of this was to make sure he is allright, and he is. Paying for these homes killed us, now that I can do something they are telling me, he has to be home for the loan to go thru??? I told him I need surgery, among other things, and there is no possible way he could come home. Btw he fell last May and had a total hip replacement, and in his mind he doesn't know where he is. I am trying to understand all of this but it's so confusing? I tried so hard. Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.

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Countrymouse: Okay, I see that, but something's off.
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The OP has already successfully applied for Medicaid for her husband.
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An AL is gong to eat up your funds. Suggest application for Medicaid for an NH.
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Kixxy - the "trust", what kind? like the house is in a trust; or hubs has $ placed in a special needs trust.
Or some other trust?
I don't know IF a RM can even be done on property held in trust.

RM as others have said are not a good idea as the owners or owner & spouse need to both be living there AND ALSO in addition often there are new costs to your ownership. Like required insurance(s) may increase - so maybe before you had a modest homeowners policy based on old value but now you have to have a higher homeowners (to cover the total debt or loan) plus any others needed for your area… like flood, windstorm, earthquake PLUS mortgage insurance. Insurance, taxes and maintenance are all responsibility of property owner to pay for.
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kixxybaby, go keep that appointment with the credit counselor. You need a detailed explanation of what your options are. Forget reverse mortgage, that is not an option now.
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I don't like the sound of your borrowing against your only asset. How are you going to repay that loan? What happens when you have paid off your husband's fees and your debts - what are you going to live on? Be very, very careful. Don't sign anything without getting advice from an experienced, independent professional.

I'm sorry that you feel you've been misled by social workers. What happened there?
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Churchmouse, thank you for explaining it. That is exactly where I am. Its so confusing. And it has always been my husband and i, so there is no one I can ask about this. And after being taken by these homes, and mislead by social workers, I can't trust people anymore. I am waiting now, on a loan against the house. I don't need a high amount, just enough to get my husband's RSCF fees paid, and pay off the other debts. Along with getting me to the right doctors for my health. We had 2,500.00 dollars stolen from a so called temporary home last year, and that was the last of our money after selling his car. The trust is solid. He made sure the house was safe with me. It makes me sad. I have done everything right. I miss my husband, This is terrible...
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This is so complex.   Not unusual for a wife's name not be on the Deed, but if they live in a State where everything the husband owns, the wife will also share, and vise versa, the house also belongs to her.

As for a Reverse Mortgage, I am surprise the Reverse Mortgage broker would even consider the loan due to the fact that the husband has been in a continuing care facility for 2 years, if I read that correctly.   Usually Reverse Mortgages will allow the owner to be away from the house for one year.  The reason behind that is that in some cases it can take a year for the owner to be in the hospital and in rehab. The loan company hopes the owner returns to the house.

Once one year one day hits, then some Reverse Mortgage loans will become due and payable, check out the clauses.  Current rule changes will allow the spouse who is still living in the house to remain, and once the house is sold or the spouse passes on, the loan becomes due.

Now, if the husband is on Medicaid and Medicaid will be paying for his care in a continuing care facility, then Medicaid will put a lien on the house.  Now in the end, I don't know how the RM gets repaid and Medicaid also gets paid.  That is where an Elder Law Attorney needs to get involved.... sooner than later.
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I think the OP said that she has successfully applied for Medicaid for her husband, and he is living in the memory care unit, and that's fine except that she owes them fees presumably from prior to Medicaid's accepting her husband's claim.

So she is now in the family home and has those expenses to manage. She also has medical requirements of her own which she will struggle to pay for. She does not currently have title to the house, nor formal power of attorney, but she is acknowledged to be acting for her certified incapacitated husband presumably as his next of kin.

So the house is the major asset. What about income? Kixxybaby, do you have earnings, a pension, any sort of income of your own to live on?

I completely agree that you need specialist professional advice to help you plan a way forward. And this time, although I applaud how you've put your husband's care first, make sure the plan ALSO provides for your needs and your future. You're not any less important, you know.

For that reason, it may be for the best that the reverse mortgage hasn't worked out. That kind of loan might look like an appealing temporary solution, but what about later when the money's gone and the loan company owns your house?

Take heart, I'm sure there will be better options. I hope you can find good advice very soon, please keep us updated.
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Did the lawyer tell you to do a reverse mortgage? Doesn't seem like good advice under the circumstances. You were originally thinking of a divorce, so is this lawyer a family law attorney? You really need a specialist in Elder Law.

Did you get your husband on Medicaid? Are they paying for the memory care place?
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