I agree about reading a lot about dementia. I don't have a spouse who has it, but, I do have another family member who does. Early on, she became very disagreeable, argumentative, agitated, etc. Nothing I did was right and she would make outrageous comments and swear it was the truth. I had no idea what was causing it. It wasn't until later that we realized it was dementia. If I had known, I wouldn't have wasted so much energy in trying to convince her of things, trying to make her be nice, etc. Because, there is brain damage, it's just not possible. I'd learn to let things go and just try to keep things as tolerable as possible. Reasoning, explaining and hoping that they will agree or accept reason, is not likely to work. The arguing is really pointless and just adds to the aggravation.

I would try to get outside help so you can take breaks and get respite time. It's very stressful to do what you're doing. It can really take a toll on your physical and mental health. I'd try to get some time for yourself and to rest away from the stress.

I might also discuss it with his doctor. If he is suffering from anxiety or undue mental distress, he may need medication for it. I might explore that with his doctor.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Sunnygirl1

I am oh so new at this, who am I to give advise.  My husband is 77 with "mild Alzheimer's" also and arguing with him is not an option anymore. I find that just agreeing with him is the best way to handle any situation. He is childish and I have to remind myself just to agree and walk away. It is easier on me and right now I have become so tired and frustrated that I really don't care if I am right or wrong. I am not going to win, and what difference does it really make anymore. I send my love to you and want you to know that I know what you are going through and you are a Saint.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to DottieD

If this is a sudden change, we always say have them tested for a urinary tract infection. Those can wreak havoc in an elderly person.

I am one of those rebels who thinks that having “mild” Alzheimer’s is like being a little bit pregnant. If he has not been formally diagnosed, he needs to see his doctor who may send him for further testing. Do your own research on Alzheimer’s/dementia to see what to expect. If he is still fairly aware, he may realize what’s happening to him and is scared. A lot of men react with anger when they’re afraid of something. The doctor can help with that too.

Alzheimers is a disease that has no reverse gear. It can be controlled for a while with medications. You may want to think to the future of where he will go when he needs extra help.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Ahmijoy

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter