Husband left me (no Adultry) after receiving lump sum of money. We were not happy. He returned 2 yrs. later. I found pics in his phone of him tied to a chair, nude & blind folded, women fondling him. There was also a man & another women there. Also, found images of his sexual organ, bodily fluids & a womens buttocks on the chair he was tied to. Found more pics of him sleeping, & a pic of his organ, picks of his face. More pics of his erect member! Credit card record showed activity of alcohol, food & cash withdrawls. He doesnt do alcohol ! ALSO his credit card & other valuables were not stolen. AND he said a women approached him asking to spend the night AGAIN! He claims he doesn't recognize her! I texted a no. in his phone, person said his pics were sent to them too. There was also a pic of a man holding my husband up w/ 2 women on each side. Who took that pic? Also there are pics of him sleeping & sitting in someones car, while someone takes pics of him. He also said he had a VERY realistic sex dream about that time. MY HUSBAND CLAIMS HE (DOESN'T REMEMBER) THE PEOPLE, OR WHERE HE WAS OR THE SEX ACTS! I would like a divorce on grounds of Adultry even though he CLAIMS TO NOT REMEMBER! He's not sure he had intercourse. His apt. building had a lot of illegal activity in it! I'm about to get Gaurdianship & put him in Locked memory care, or fulltime care. He is in his own NEW apt. But the dementia is getting worse! HE IS 73YRS. I'm going crazy!! What should I do?

I would report it. I would then allow the state to get guardianship based on those pictures.

Having guardianship is a big responsibility. I know a lady approaching her 80s that is trying to revolk hers over a cousin and the state will not take over. You will have to keep records of where his money goes. Report to the state every year. You will be responsible for every aspect of his life. Dealing with Medicaid if he needs it. Personally, I wouldn't take on that responsibility.

This is how I feel, and I have been there. He walked out on you. That's where your responsibility for him stopped. Maybe not legally, but emotionally. I would get him the help he needs and then walk away. Let the state take over. I would also look into a divorce. I would want my life back with no baggage.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Whether or not you divorce is a personal matter and you really don't need to justify your reasons. I would like to point out though that what you described is a sexual assault and a criminal act, being tied up and held down doesn't sound consensual. Your husband has dementia, those people need to be prosecuted.
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Reply to cwillie

Too much information for me, I'm afraid.

Clemens, giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you are a genuine poster rather than... not a genuine poster, shall we say; would you like to post a new thread explaining that you have found explicit sexual images of your husband plus others recorded on his phone; that your marriage has been in difficulties for some years, on and off; and that you wish to file for a divorce on the grounds of adultery.

The difficulty is that your husband has been diagnosed with dementia and claims to have no memory of these events; plus of course it is possible that he has in fact been a victim of exploitation, blackmail, heaven knows what. How should you proceed?

You are sure he has dementia and is not just lying to you, yes? How far have you got with your guardianship application?

Anyway, please do edit and repost your question, because otherwise I think people may react as I did and then you won't get much helpful input.
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Reply to Countrymouse

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