Hi! My Mom is 89 (with moderate dementia) and you just described my Mom. She will often sleep until noon or 1pm. Then after she gets up, she will snooze on and off in the recliner after she gets up. I was very worried about this. Her Neurologist is a highly trained wonderful Doctor and is Chief of the Neurology Department. I made an appointment with her to discuss this issue. The Doctor said to not worry about it at all and to let her sleep. She said it is like the cycle of life, Toddlers tend to sleep a lot and as Mom gets older, with her dementia, I will find that Mom sleeps more. Of course, she wants Mom to eat when she gets up, and she likes Mom to get out for walks with me etc. She also asked me to wake Mom up to give Mom her medications, on time (I give Mom a 1/2 piece of toast so the pills don't upset her tummy). At first mom did not like that, but now she is used to it. I also have gotten Mom into the routine of going to the restroom at this time and it helps with incontinence. (I have a commode chair right next to her bed, placed against a wall for stability, this has made it so easy as she does not have to drag herself into the bathroom and it lowers her fall risk due to being sleepy). Also, the Doctor very strongly asked me to enroll her for, at least two days a week, into a adult day program for seniors with dementia. I checked out numerous programs until I found the right one for mom. Interestingly, Mom is totally alert and stays awake at the day care program due to the stimulation!!! Two days a week is enough for Mom's preferences. Every night before the program she theatens that she does not want to go (drama) and the same thing occurs the mornings of the day care. (it is not fun and even bigger drama) but I hold steady that she must go. Once she gets there she has a fantastic time. I have noticed that her mental status has greatly improved. She is having less delusions and is overall doing MUCH better. I think the social interaction with her peers and multiple staff is very grounding and offers a lot of metal stimulation. I was very worried because of COVID but as her neurologist said, we have to weigh it out. Mom was losing her battle with dementia, but with the day care class she cognitively improved. I would have not believed it until I witnessed it. So, for my family, although scary, the risk is worth it to give Mom a better, happier, quality of life. The Adult Day care programs in my area have re-opened with very strict protocols. I hope this helps! Just my two cents guided by my own experience.
My mother has no routine and I do not try to impose one on her at this stage of her life. She is 95 and lately she is sleeping later in the mornings and will stay up all night watching TV, etc. She too has dementia and is getting more confused by the the hour. I do have to set some boundaries for her... like helping her to get out of bed no later than 12pm. After she has her late meal coffee and meds i try to leave her be. So no I don't think you should feel guilty about letting your father sleep in especially after he or she turns 90 plus. Take care of you too!!
I would say at 90 with dementia he gets to sleep long as he likes, just so he gets a bit of exercise and movement, a few deep breathes when he gets up. Good luck. It is also fine to get him up if your intention is eating a bit, medications, what exercise he can do passive or active, and allow back to bed if he wishes. They become very very tired toward the end.
Hi Marvel My DH aunt is 94 and with dementia. She would stay In bed most of the morning if her aide didn’t arrive at 8 to help her with her ADLs. Then after she’s set for the day, she generally sleeps a good deal of the day in her recliner. She will bother herself to channel surf and eat the food she can access from her chair. But she spends much of the day just sleeping in her chair. Three times a week she gets a bath so gets a bit more exercise. Some days she doesn’t want to get up but will take her meds, have her vitals taken and probably doesn’t feel well. She is now on Medicare hospice due to dementia not being reversible. On the days the aide isn’t there I play it by ear. But it runs into issues with incontinence, time released meds being too close together and bedtime being pushed back. If she doesn’t get up, I’ll also have to change the sheets so I try to get her up earlier. Having said that, I don’t force her on anything. I just come up with more enticements. If it’s a no go. I let her be. Not sure if this helps. You have to think about what’s best for you as well. If you don’t have hospice you might want to consider it.
I hope this helps! Just my two cents guided by my own experience.
My DH aunt is 94 and with dementia. She would stay In bed most of the morning if her aide didn’t arrive at 8 to help her with her ADLs. Then after she’s set for the day, she generally sleeps a good deal of the day in her recliner. She will bother herself to channel surf and eat the food she can access from her chair. But she spends much of the day just sleeping in her chair. Three times a week she gets a bath so gets a bit more exercise. Some days she doesn’t want to get up but will take her meds, have her vitals taken and probably doesn’t feel well. She is now on Medicare hospice due to dementia not being reversible. On the days the aide isn’t there I play it by ear. But it runs into issues with incontinence, time released meds being too close together and bedtime being pushed back. If she doesn’t get up, I’ll also have to change the sheets so I try to get her up earlier. Having said that, I don’t force her on anything. I just come up with more enticements. If it’s a no go. I let her be.
Not sure if this helps. You have to think about what’s best for you as well. If you don’t have hospice you might want to consider it.