My husband has dementia and we are going thru a situation where he is always thinking we have someone in the house with us? Any advice?

My Mother thinks "kids" are outside our windows having parties or men are watching her. She used to think people were under/behind her bed and she was so frightened. Thank goodness she's no longer afraid. I could tell you so many stories - she sees people in the trees, she sees horses in the back yard, she waves to airplanes (they wave back, you know) and so on.

My MIL used to talk to the birds - invite them to dinner. Life is so much easier if you just learn to go along with it. You can talk 'till you're blue in the face, but that won't change what has become "real" to them. God bless you and give you patience as you care for your husband. 💙

I'd discuss it with his doctor and even ask for a geriatric psych referral. I'd try to see what the doctors think could help. Is he anxious too or do the delusions make him anxious? I'd try to address it before there are problems, because, while he may be calm about them now, that could change. If he did become frightened of perceived people, he night act out of fear and hurt you, someone else, or even himself. We had a family friend that had that happen. He ran from his house into the street, fell, fractured his hip and never recovered.

In the meantime, I might try to stay calm, not disagree and try to work through it. Maybe, just say that those guys don't eat much and that they are kind and peaceful.

My dad thought men were having meetings in our house, and women were going up and down the stairs. It did not make him fearful either.. so we just went along with it.

Dementia brings anxiety, which can grow worse over the years to the point of complete paranoia.

NOW is the moment to get him on a correct medication, anti-depressant or whatever a neuro-psychiatrist or geriatric doctor recommends. These drugs make world of difference.

And, yes, until that is resolved, go along with it in a gentle way as others here recommend. Good idea!

My daughter is a hair stylist. One of her clients has gone to a memory care unit. They still bring her in for haircuts etc. She was a high powered business woman and she thinks the staff and patients in the memory care unit are employees in her business. Everyone just goes along with it.

One of the old ladies in my ex's AL thinks she invited people to a party and now they won't leave. She has told my other daughter that she wishes the people would go home, However, she is a very socially correct person. During dinner she will go by each table, thanking them for coming and hoping they are enjoying themselves. Again, everyone just goes along with it.

Neither one is angry or violent. That is an entire different ballgame. As long as your husband is not angry, just go along with it.

As long as the delusions are not stressful for your husband, I would play along. "The guys just left to get some dinner." kind of responses. My dad was convinced I walked to his house and took his car out on the town at night. He even thought I had some computer tool to reset the mileage since it never changed.

Consider SunnyGirl's advice seriously. Although Dad's delusions never became violent, as his dementia progressed he eventually became aggressive to my mother, throwing stuff at her and then a very hard shove that resulted in a bad fall - almost down a flight of stairs (Mom caught herself with the handrail).

I agree with the last two posters. My husband also had delusions that I was entertaining men in our home and he could see four at a time coming up the drive. After two nights of him keeping my daughter and me up all night, we were advised to take him to a senior dementia evaluation center at our local hospital where they put him on meds that calmed him down. Since he was unable to walk by himself, we chose to take him to a Memory Care unit that had skilled care available. He still wants to "take me to bed", but at least I'm not being accused of seeing other men as often, and he is getting good care.

One year ago, my husband had visual hallucinations too and thought I brought a boyfriend home. He was incensed and became aggressive towards me. The doc put him on quietiapine (generic for seroquel) and he calmed down a couple of weeks later. Fast forward to now, so far so good. But I would not be surprised if the hallucination came back. I guess my point is try to get him on one of those psychotic drugs to see if it improves.

I agree with the other poster who suggested medication. dad was agitated, angry, suicidal, and irrational. Hospitsl ordered rispiridone. No side effects at all... and although dad has not lost his “edgy bite” I’m certain he’s much calmer and has made his transition to a new living situation much easier.

A low dose of Seroquel should be able to help him.