My husband has bladder cancer and it has spread to his bones. How serious is this?



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Gwen, I'm sorry to read of this unsettling development. You might want to contact your husband's oncologist, or a nurse practitioner in that office, and schedule a meeting to address what happens next, what you can do, and how to anticipate the ramifications of the metastasis.

Ask about the side effects of any meds he's on, whether chemo or radiation is under consideration, what you can expect in terms of weight loss, appetite loss, mobility, etc. This will help you prepare - the cancer journeys have commonalities but can also be individualized. If you anticipate what your husband will encounter, you can be prepared to help both of you.

You might also want to research online to determine if there's a Gilda's Club in your area. In mine, there are specific support groups for various kinds of cancers. There are also respite and informative activities, not only for the individual battling cancer but for the family as well.
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This is a question that only a doctor can answer. Stage 4 cancer is considered incurable, but medications are available that can extend life, sometimes at great cost. Tell your doc that you want to know the truth. Take someone with you that you trust to help ask the right questions and take notes.
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Bless you both. Usually 4th stage is when cancer has spread to other parts of the body. You need to read the book Being Mortal by Atul Gawande so you are both prepared to make decisions about end of life care. It's something we all must face, but I'm sorry you need to consider this now. You both need advance directives. And you both need to decide on extending his life with drugs for cancer vs. experiencing a high quality of life with the time left by possibly using palliative care.
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