My husband has Alzheimer's and has possible blood clots or kidney problems. Any advice?

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Causing swelling in the legs, ankles and feet. My husband has been in a nursing home for over a year and is still quite aggressive with the nurses whenever personal care or medication is administered. He is not compliant at all. I need some advice on how much I should push for testing and treatment knowing that my husband is so opposed to it all and fights everything and everyone due to his Alzheimer's

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I agree that calling for hospice to evaluate is your next move. We truly need to get out of the mindset that death is some sort of failure and something that always needs to be fought; there are a lot of people with ten luxury homes who are planning on buying an eleventh because they feed off that notion. We have to grow up as a society and stop being so afraid of it. Death is simply the next step from this life, and right now, you should see what makes your husband the most comfortable and let him move on his journey, no feeding tubes, none of that stuff, because that's what he's fighting for. He doesn't want to live like that, and this society is too cowardly to do the right thing by him. I've spent a lot of time with dementia patients, listening to what's supposed to be babble, and it really isn't. God bless you both.
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Having lived with an Alzheimer patient during 13 years (of which last 3 years in a nursing home) and as I have worked during 6 years helping elderly / sick people at home, I can say I have quite some experience in this field. The fact that your husband opposes to every testing, medication etc.. I think he is not willing to live any longer, and that each day is a struggle for him. Of course the more the brains are damaged, he will not be so angry and aggressive any more. This is one of the phases he is going through. So, you could think that treatment is a necessity so that he could live a couple of years more.. On the other hand, you must ask yourself if this kind of life is still agreeable for himself, yourself, the family.... I think a good talk with his doctor is imperative. There are people with Alzheimer or other types of dementia who pass away in very very sad conditions, being tied up in bed, with nourishment through a tube, directly into his stomach and than many people who have severe wounds on their heels, their bottom, the shoulders, the elbows etc.. as they are always laying in bed, in the same position, and they are partly dehydrated and no more muscles or fat. (I have seen people with open wounds so badly that one could see the bones). The doctors will never tell you these things, but I have seen them in reality. I have thanked the Lord a million times that at a certain moment the brain damage affected his hart function or his aspiration to such degree that he passed away in about 1 hour time. The last months he was tied up in bed, because he climbed out of the hospital bed, risking to break arms, legs, hips, aso.. But he never had to be nourished through a tube, and did not suffer from severe wounds. It is certainly not easy to take a decision in this matter, but when you are well prepared and advised, it become a bit easier. I wish you all the best and lots of strength and love and support from family and friends
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What a tough spot to be in! How advanced is his Alzheimers? Are they not able to ease hi a agitation with ant anxiety meds? Who is saying that the swelling might be due to kidney/blood clots? Is it time to call in Hospice to evaluate him?
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Oh my dear, what a trial. I will send good thoughts & prayers that he can learn to trust the nurses & aides....somehow. in the meantime, perhaps they can get him some mild sedation? Its not good for the brain to always be in fight mode, it trains it as a normal response. Or something like that (I'm certainly not a doctor!). But maybe he is feeling physically in pain or bloated, and in a way that really bothers him. So yes, do push to have an evaluation, and maybe the excess fluid once resolved, will help with the calming him?
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If I was in that situation, I would have a doctor check for the blood clots, kidney problems, etc. because even if hubby has Alzheimer's you would still want him to be comfortable and not in pain.
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