Husband has Alzheimer’s anosognosia and can't recognize that anything is wrong. What can I do about his behavior?

choice is the key, I have my own therapist to help me thru this very awkward time with my mother. Your husband is no longer an adult that can make choices for himself. If I may suggest, the choice is yours and it is not easy. Would you give a child the choice to go to day care? Would you give a child a choice to have a babysitter? I know he is not your child, however he is child like. He may not like it but he will get used to it. And you will have some sanity time for yourself, it is important that you stay sane for both of your sakes. It is just loving him and yourself enough to do what works best for both of you. Why do we choose to suffer by trying to make them happy while sacrificing our own happiness. This only leads to resentment and how can we live or want to be around someone we resent. Choose happiness or at least sanity for yourself and end the needless suffering. My heart goes out to you and I wish you a peaceful solution 🧚🏼‍♂️💕

His "shadowing" you and "Mr. Hyde" behavior concerns me for YOUR sake; he could actually hurt you. Is it time to have him in a memory care facility for BOTH your sakes?

Can you investigate a more supported living situation for the two of you? Having staff available who are trained in how to handle dementia behaviors would be very helpful for you.

We found a senior living facility that had levels of care. The well spouse had much more support- both from the staff and from other residents caring for ill spouses.

A conversation with an Aging Life specialist or Social worker knowledgeable about the facilities in your area would be a good place to start.

I’m thinking that your best hope may be with the neurologist. Have you considered asking him about the possibility of prescribing a mild mood stabilizer to help your husband remain more peaceful as your decision making responsibilities increase? Or perhaps recommend a neuropsychiatrist familiar with the needs of someone in the situation you’re dealing with?

Do NOT feel uncomfortable using “all sorts of stories” as long as you can manage his care by doing so. If his circumstances and yours can be peacefully dealt with using this technique, it is both fair and reasonable and kind to do it.

Please remember that YOUR SAFETY AND COMFORT are important to HIS welfare, and also that if he were well, he would appreciate and respect your efforts to do the best possible for him.

Your state or county may have resources for caring for the elderly, and it may be worth it to give that resource a try too.

Hope you continue to visit here......

The sad part about Alzheimer's disease is that the patient does not know he/she has it. Their lack of discernment is usually the first signs family and friends have. Please consider joining a "senior club" (aka adult day program) to get your hubby acclimated to being there regularly. You may have to be with him for the first weeks and then you can leave him to get your nails done, hair done, your lady doctor's appointment.... He'll probably not want to go with you for these. Please have a few more "friends" (aka friends, family, home health care aides...) join you throughout the week. Ask them to play games with both of you, help on days you don't have a housekeeper, have a meal with you... Eventually, you can have some come to visit while you "run a few quick errands."

If he is routinely turning into Mr. Hyde at night, please talk to his doctor. He may be more frustrated and anxious at night as he gets tired. His doctor could prescribe him a mild sedative to help him relax and be more compliant in the evenings. If he gets violent with you, please call EMS; he may need a short stay in a geriatric inpatient psych unit to work on behavior modification.

If he is already seeeing a neurologist, and that doc hasn't got any interventions to try, I would consult with a geriatric psychiatrist.

It is better for you to have him with you than to be left alone. Are their family or friends that could come over to chat with him to give you a break? My husband also refuses to admit anything is wrong and we dont discuss it. I know and that is what is important. I had to be concerned about him driving and killing someone. So I disengaged the battery on his car and kept telling him I was waiting on AAA to come. After about a month I told him AAA needed to pick it up because they think its something electrical. Because I have Power of Attorney and sold the car. I had to get it out of sight. Its been 2 months and he has not mentioned the car

I have the same problem, maybe not as bad. My husband does not recognize his dementia, although he knows the diagnosis and is receiving treatment (aducanumab infusions). In the moment however, he refuses to acknowledge any deficits and gets angry at me if I say anything that suggest he is not fully capable. I do have nearby family but with COVID we are not seeing them. I get out to work, part time and that is a huge help. It is still difficult and I feel I have lost my husband who was my best friend and always my protector and always in charge. Not now.

First of all, don’t try to convince him or tell him there is anything wrong, that he forgets, doesn’t understand, etc. Go on as if everything is normal even though you know it isn’t and you will do everything you can to make things safe. I am speaking of one that is going through this for the second time. First I was caregiver for my mother and now my husband.

The best thing for both of you is keep things calm, even if it means less said, don’t react. Many times it’s how we react that can set off upset with one with this disease. No matter how you want him to change, he can’t, so save your time and nerves. Remember he is not acting the way he is because he wants to, it’s because it’s how his brain is or isn’t working. It is very hard to see and experience this happening.

I have not left my husband alone in over 3 years. He has not driven in over 5 years. He now has only 1% memory left. Does he know that, no and I make that ok. Conversation is about the weather, birds, trees, what we are eating, etc.

I learned long ago when caring for Mom, it is me that needs to adapt and that things can change in a second. I never hesitate to tell him how much I love him. As I did on our 60th wedding anniversary 6 days ago.

Following Bevthegreat response, about adult day care.
My husband didn't understand his disease or limitations either, but he was a danger to himself and others. I had managed to talk with him about not driving, and the danger he put me in by taking the right of way on a left turn on a 2-way, 6 lane green light, but it was not easy.
About day care. He didn't want to do that either. But one day I took him to sign him up, told him I had business to take care of. He didn't know what the building was. He had to sit in the waiting lounge that was open he could see me, I signed him up, then we left. Later in the week I took him back and took him directly to the room, got him introduced to the "teacher", stayed with him a while, told him I had an errand, and left. He didn't follow, but was not a happy camper after I left , I understand he just sat on the couch, then looked out the window for a long while. I went back 4 hours later to pick him up. Didn't argue, or scold me about leaving him, or anything.
Next luncheon date, I took him again. This went on for another week, then I started taking him 3 days a week, then 4 days a week. He didn't always participate in the activities, sometimes watching out the window for me to return. I started him with 2 hours, then 4 hours, then 5 hours sometimes. It gave me some time to get a haircut, shop, do banking, visit with friends, lunch, etc. Better for both of us. Not always easy, but my husband was not belligerent but still not happy. Didn't want to go again, but did as I brought him, they took him to a table with other persons, and I just left quietly. Didn't say goodbye.