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I am a Long term care dementia nurse and don't know where to start. My husband has suffered two brainstem strokes in the past four months and his dementia symptoms have increased. He is very loud, and abusive and I have no idea how to get him diagnosed. We got a repossession notice on his car. He won't let me access his money, but I did arrange a repayment plan. How do I start the ball rolling on diagnosing him without him thinking I am deceiving. He is ultra paranoid, sleeps all day up all night, driving very badly residual vision problem from strokes, ceased all social activities, watches tv all day and is on facebook, extremely paranoid, if I leave him for 30 minutes I was cheating on him, loses everything and accuses me and our teenage daughter of stealing his belongings. Help Me Please

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Great! Keep us informed on how this plays out. We are on your side! (And your husband's, too, of course, though he might not see it that way.)
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Thank you fort the support . Its funny how things just happen. Yesterday he forced me to go to an all day event with him it was almost like a home show but it was all geared towards veterans. He goes to the via now for medical care. Anyway we stopped at the va health booth he chatted with them then moved on and the person he spoke to was a social worker, when he was out of earshot I briefly described our situation and she gave me her card and told me she could help so I will call her Monday, I think it was divine intervention because I truly didn't want to go.
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If he has a seriously violent outburst, you can call the local police, have him arrested and the judge will order a neuro-psych evaluation. You might also petition the courts for a guardian to be appointed and the evaluation is part of the guardianship process. Use your cell phone to tape an outburst and share it with the MD.
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My heart goes out to you, Nuffkids.

Could you get your husband to an appointment, saying it is a follow-up on his strokes? I'm sure you know the value of at least a tentative diagnosis and treatment plan. Do everything in your power to get him evaluated, even if it involves some trickery you would never have considered when your husband was well.

Meanwhile, please arrange for your husband to stop driving. If possible, have this come from his doctor or the DMV, without his being aware of your role in the decision. Giving up driving was the absolute hardest part of having dementia, from my husband's perspective. It is heartbreaking to have to do that, but the safety of more than your husband is at stake.

Come and post often and let us know how things are going. You are on a difficult journey and it can help to associate with others who have or are travelling it.
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My first suggestion is to see a neurologist. It sounds like your father should not be driving at all. We took our mother to a neurologist....telling her it was a follow up appt. that her PCP wanted. She was opposed to seeing a neurologist because she knew that a neurologist could diagnose her as mentally incapacitated due to Alzheimer's. Mom was progressed enough that she did not realize we were taling her a neurologist. We had to do it this way because mom's DPOA was written as a springing type which meant she had to be diagnosed as mentally incapacitated so my sis and I could step in to make medical and finacial decisions for her. It is not an easy process to go through. A geriatric specialist is also a good choice. You are doing an excellent job so hand in there as you journey through this. Hugs to you!!
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