Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
All good answers here. . Prostate problems, urinary tract infections, etc. absolutely need to be ruled out first. Then proceed with getting him briefs that also guard against leaks.
With dementia at play, he gets to stop calling the shots now if he'd like to continue living at home. He wears incontinence briefs or incontinence underwear 24/7 now, and is accompanied to the toilet each time he goes. Put a small amount of tp in there just in case he sneaks past you.
Dementia causes OCD like repetitive behaviors and this is one of them. My mother was also fixated with the toilet, but lived in Memory Care so it was "her girls" problem to deal with. In Memory Care, residents are toileted every 2 hours, so that does cut down on visits to the bathroom. Calming medication can also help.
If DH won't comply with rules at home, he can go to Memory Care. "Won't wear Depends" changes today, dear.
My husband was doing this when he was in the hospital for a stroke, that is, before he was totally incapacitated. I learned it was just the first in a long pattern of repetitive behaviors which started as a result of his cognitive loss/dementia which set in.
I don't think there is anything you can or need to do about it. He feels this compulsive habit and you obviously can't convince him to change the habit or wear incontinence products. Having him cleared for any medical issues, UTI, and prostate is great! You have done all you can for now.
It's unfortunate that you are buying extra toilet paper and paying a larger water bill. If you are able to convince him that he does not need to flush the toilet every time, and limit the amount of toilet paper available to him in the bathroom, that could help ease your extra financial burden, but I don't think he will be able to stop these compulsive habits.
This too will pass. Eventually, he will be unable to control his bladder and will need to agree to use incontinence products. Assure him that there is nothing wrong with wearing absorbent briefs. He probably already has trouble controlling his bladder, which is why he is going to the toilet so often. Once he is comfortable using incontinence briefs, he will find a new compulsive repetitive habit, and you will be facing a whole new set of problems. Managing incontinence, buying adult diapers, which will cost as much as you are now paying for extra water usage and toilet paper. Covering the bed and furniture with absorbent pads, disposing soiled diapers, more soiled laundry, and cleaning more in general. When this becomes more than you can manage effectively, it is time to consider moving him to a care home.
Buy him the men's underwear that include leak protection. Before my Dad accepted his issues I bought them for him and he liked them. Also get him checked too. (It protects and leaves them feeling like a man)
Get him to a urologist. Medical issues with bladder and kidneys can arise quickly. He needs to be checked out to make sure it's not a physical issue, such as interstitial cystitis, which his symptoms could indicate. There's medicine for that and treatments that work as well.
If it's not a physical issue, and if he has cognitive decline, he could be stuck on an obsessive loop. In that case, anti-anxiety meds might help. Talk to his PCP about that.
Also, if he does have dementia, be aware that this could be the beginning of his urinating inappropriately all over the place. On purpose. That's a symptom that is very hard to live with, and it's when many spouses give up trying to keep their loved one at home.
I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this difficult problem. Been there and done that! Not fun.
You throw out all his cloth undies and replace them with only the disposables. You may need to lock the bathroom door from the outside, or you may need to purchase "adaptive clothing" called anti-strip jumpsuits for people with dementia which can be found online.
Or, you can turn off the water at the toilet and then only turn it on when you want to flush it.
Prostate problems will give them the urge but not be able to go. This can be serious. With my DH it was an enlarged prostate. Need to talk to his doctor.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Dementia causes OCD like repetitive behaviors and this is one of them. My mother was also fixated with the toilet, but lived in Memory Care so it was "her girls" problem to deal with. In Memory Care, residents are toileted every 2 hours, so that does cut down on visits to the bathroom. Calming medication can also help.
If DH won't comply with rules at home, he can go to Memory Care. "Won't wear Depends" changes today, dear.
Best of luck to you.
I don't think there is anything you can or need to do about it. He feels this compulsive habit and you obviously can't convince him to change the habit or wear incontinence products. Having him cleared for any medical issues, UTI, and prostate is great! You have done all you can for now.
It's unfortunate that you are buying extra toilet paper and paying a larger water bill. If you are able to convince him that he does not need to flush the toilet every time, and limit the amount of toilet paper available to him in the bathroom, that could help ease your extra financial burden, but I don't think he will be able to stop these compulsive habits.
This too will pass. Eventually, he will be unable to control his bladder and will need to agree to use incontinence products. Assure him that there is nothing wrong with wearing absorbent briefs. He probably already has trouble controlling his bladder, which is why he is going to the toilet so often. Once he is comfortable using incontinence briefs, he will find a new compulsive repetitive habit, and you will be facing a whole new set of problems. Managing incontinence, buying adult diapers, which will cost as much as you are now paying for extra water usage and toilet paper. Covering the bed and furniture with absorbent pads, disposing soiled diapers, more soiled laundry, and cleaning more in general.
When this becomes more than you can manage effectively, it is time to consider moving him to a care home.
If it's not a physical issue, and if he has cognitive decline, he could be stuck on an obsessive loop. In that case, anti-anxiety meds might help. Talk to his PCP about that.
Also, if he does have dementia, be aware that this could be the beginning of his urinating inappropriately all over the place. On purpose. That's a symptom that is very hard to live with, and it's when many spouses give up trying to keep their loved one at home.
I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this difficult problem. Been there and done that! Not fun.
Or, you can turn off the water at the toilet and then only turn it on when you want to flush it.