I need some time away from my husband with dementia. How do I get my husband to consent to a sitter?

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I have had a few friends volunteer to spend time with him for me to get away, but if I mention it to him, he feels I am getting a babysitter. I cannot get away from him. If I'm not following him around to see what he's into, then he is following me around to see what I'm doing.

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Yes, you need to do this. Don't ask permission. When he complains about a "sitter" tell him that the doctor says he needs someone with him so that's how it's going to be.

Your husband is sick and his dignity is offended. He hates his own situation. That's understandable. This isn't about you.

Ideally, the person taking a shift would be some long-term friend of his, too - a man? That would make it easier to start. But whoever it is, just tell him that he needs someone around and that this friend will be there to help. Doctor's orders.

Good luck. Please let us know how this goes for you. Remember - you deserve this for your sake but also your husbands. You want to be around to take care of him, so you need to take care of yourself.

Carol
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get an exceptionally hot looking girl . trust me . he'll call the cops and get you ran off .. theres your break ..
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I can't see your profile on my phone, but I assume your husband is ill...if youare going to be a caregiver, you need to put your own health and sanity FIRST. You don't ask his permission. You just do it. He won't like it (my dad hated it when my mom took time for herself). It doesn't matter, he doesn't have to like it anymore than my two year old grandson likes going to bed. It's what is best for all involved.
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Don't offer a choice to someone with dementia, it never goes well. Get a sitter or get him a week of respite somewhere, but preserve your own health any way you can.
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I agree,you need some time for you. Like Carol mentioned maybe a man friend would be better and you can have him come over and let your hubby know you have to make sure hes ok while your gone and you want him to have some time with his friend. I wish you luck.
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Thanks for all of your helpful comments! I know you are right that I must ignore his attitude toward someone staying with him when I need to get away. For some reason, it's more difficult with my husband than it was with my mother (cared for her for about 8 yrs. but not CONSTANTLY). It seems that the main problem I have is that my husband NEVER did anything (sports or hobbies) without me. He really never had what I would consider CLOSE friends except for our mutual friends. My husband, however, has been very well liked by all of our friends and acquaintances. The one couple that have been very close to us and who are very near to the same age visits us often. I invite them to have meal with us about once a week so that I have conversation. The gentleman (of this couple) is very helpful to me, doing little jobs that I cannot do. It seems recently that my husband is jealous of him, even though this man tries his darndest to make my husband comfortable in this situation.
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