My husband claims the man taking care of him is hurting him intentionally. How do I handle this?

There are some forms of dementia come with paranoia, delusion and suspicions.
You have mentioned that your husband resists help when he needs to be transferred. Sure it might hurt when somebody is pulling you off the chair and you resist and fight it. I had residents like that, who would fight me and do not trust me at times, while some another moments completely rely on me and compliment the way I care for them. I had a resident who told me he hates me when I offered him meds, when I told him we do not have cookies in the house (yes, he was on the strict diet and was served fresh fruit cup every time he asked for sweets), when I refused to lay down in the bed with him.... Yes, he used to cry all night long telling me he is lonely, he had a bad dream, he just wants a kiss from me.... He was VERY challenging and demanding... and declining very fast.
So, I just want you to know, if your husband has a LBD (Lewy Body Dementia) or Pick's disease, he might go through all those unpleasant changes and you will have the same problems does not matter where he goes.... I suggest you to observe those moments when he is transferred to see your husband's reaction. You might change your mind about moving him... and trusting his word too. Memory problems may come with complete personality changes.

No matter how much u love him & trust him to say the truth the dementia is in control not him...i live with this every day myself my father has dementia stage 2....he believes things that are not true...says he sees things that are not there, thinks there are people coming in his house at night but thats inpossiable....please before you accuse the caregiver....you need to do ur home work....since u have moved him twice now for the same reasons....u need to due ur due dillagence. Good luck xoxo

Please move your husband to another facility... he is telling you the truth.... why would he make up something like this?? He isn't. Yes it will be hard on him and you, but even harder if you leave him there.... and by all means, after you have moved him, file a complaint... no elder should ever be abused in any form by anyone.... I applaud you for listening to your husband...... let us know what happens

It may not be intentional, but it is not working out well. Why not use a patient lift? He might not like it at first but you really have to if caregivers are being hurt, and he is having a hard time without it too, whether he recognizes it or not. Do you know about how much he weighs? Is he sensitive about that, or maybe does not realize it? You don't want him to be just stuck in bed.

This is a tough one. On one hand, your husband has no reason to lie to you, and it sounds like you need to change his facility and see if it makes a difference. On the other hand, it's very difficult to be a caregiver to someone who resists your assistance when being moved - and a Hoyer lift or other mechanical device can cause very painful pinch injuries, even when used in the most careful manner. My own dad required a lift to get him in and out of bed due to his size, and one of the nurse's aides at the NH wasn't paying attention to where his testicles were when they moved him one day...and guess what happened. (Someone needs to educate these folks about the fact that an elderly man's "parts" hang down lower than a young man's, thus causing a pinch risk!) So a lift really might not be the answer, either, if he resists assistance due to his dementia.

I would strongly recommend finding another situation for him, ASAP....one that specializes in dementia. It sounds like the facility he's in is not quite up to par.

All people who suggested to move your husband have to remember that moving dementia patient to another facility might throw that very resident into much worse situation. It might come with delirium, mental and physical exhaustion, horrible stress and much more, not to mention new staff who might be not any better than the old one....
Also remember that every person with dementia goes through different phases of disease. What you have now might change in the near future. It might be better or worse and sure it's always unpredictable. Moving your husband can hurt him as much as staying where he is now. Consider it and think about how much stress that move will bring to your own life too. Just looking for another facility is very consuming. So, irisas, you are the only one to decide what is good FOR YOU!!!
Because your well-being is as important as your husband's.

We have many hospice patients for whom moment of any kind is very painful and/or frightening. For some of the worst, pain medication is given or a short acting mild anti-anxiety medication is used just shortly before the patient is moved, long enough for the medication to have an effect. No...you don't want someone to be continuously drugged. But a short acting medication can make moves safer and more comfortable for a patient and their caregivers. As many have mentioned, many elderly people bruise very easily as their skin is thin and fragile. If you haven't seen bruising on your husband, I would question if it's case of abusive or rough handling by a caregiver. And yes, at certain stages of dementia, people do get paranoid and belligerent and mis-interpret things. They also aren't beyond manipulation when they don't want something done as previously noted, too! I, too, wonder if the language barrier is a problem. Some have the attitude that they don't want any "foreigners" around them, and if this caregiver speaks no English he'd definitely be perceived in that way. As another noted, before moving or lifting a patient, verbal notice about what one is going to be doing is helpful to a patient. If this person speaks no English, he wouldn't be able to give any verbal "notice" or prompts about what's going to happen or try and comfort or reassure the patient.

Even though it will be hard on him, and on all of you, you have to move him to another home. He is not able to defend himself, you have to do this for him. Whether it is true or not, your husband is not happy in his current home and needs to be moved. I'm sorry for your situation.

Also any mechanical devices might hurt your husband even more. People with dementia WILL NOT COOPERATE, which is absolutely necessary when using lift/hoyer or any other mechanical device.

It sounds like he is in the wrong care.
The fact that your husband needs so much help to lift / move him this residence does not sound suitable. And he definitely sounds like he doesn't like being there.

My mother complains of pain when the nurses take her blood pressure. She complains of pain if she thinks you are going to do something she doesn't like. I always acknowledge her statement and check her for dark or black/blue bruising. But merely lifting her from under her arms causes marks. If you hold her hand too tightly, if she bumps her shins on the sofa - bruising.
For patients who are sitting around for most of the day, their blood pools and does not circulate. Be careful of accusing the aid of hurting your husband unless there is evidence.