Family and husband's memory loss. His daughter uses him.
1) Hubby's Daughter lives with us. Doesn't pay rent but helps with some small chores. (I also let her "in". She gets the house after he dies. Was in prenups.) 2) Hubby's dementia is getting slowly worse in the area of thinking and remembering.
Soooo --- to my thoughts. She is slowly taking over as far as the aesthetics of the inside and outside of the house. Originally, Hubby and I said we were not going to fix anything up (unless it was necessary). Let Daughter spend monies after he dies. He's 92 in good health.
As I say, Daughter is suggesting some major work to the yard to be done. Hubby is willing to let her. He doesn't remember our agreement.
Because he can't remember things, whether it be house or taking today's medication, I need to be on top of everything. It's driving me CRAZY. Daughter, when he changes his mind, JUMPS on it.
Can't send her away because she has no where to go. Boyfriend's family says that she can't move in with them. Brother and SIL say a flat NO.
Question: How do you handle the change of the dementia patient's memory. One day, a particular situation is one way; the next day, another.
I do have a counselor and also this web group. Hubby does toilet and shower himself ok.
It's just mental that's driving me nuts! I have caregivers come Wednesday and Friday mornings. Can't rely on Daughter to help. With her health issues, never know when she's going to be here, even if she and I agree she'll be here at a certain time/date. Her reputation of forgetting or being late precedes her. I respect her as she is a Daughter of God; but no more than that.