((My 86-year-old in-laws, MIL & DIL who still live independent by themselves, but require some help, their 2 acres bordering our 24 acres which is 30 min from town...))
My husband is bearing all the weight of his parents’ needs that keep adding up. He has had Stage 4 Kidney Cancer & Metastases’ the last 5+ years. Originally he was given 3-5 years after his kidney was taken out right away. With a growth nearly a year ago, he’s also has had 2/3 of his right lung removed and continues to have breathing problems! Although he doesn’t look sick!!! His parents also have a daughter that lives in S.Dakota, one other daughter that is deceased, and the youngest daughter who lives in our state Oregon, but about 4 hours away on the coast. She avoids hearing about their aging needs and doesn’t even want to discuss the difficulties that are coming up, saying that it makes her feel guilty for not living closer. I am to the point of telling her to get her big girl panties on and get involved, for crying out loud!! My husband is emotionally wearing down and no one sees that!!!
Their mom is getting frail doesn’t drive anymore, and has many multiple health issues. Their dad is having problems with his heart again. He’s had 2 heart attacks in the past, also having had it restarted a couple of times (1 recently) but they want to put in a pace maker soon. He is still driving but shouldn’t be!!! Yes my husband and I have talked about what would probably happen if we turned him in. (we’d be driving them to all their appt’s, and church activities) I just retired early by 1-1/2 yrs to spend more time with my husband who’s 65, before he does get worse (he’s terminal). I’m feeling defensive and yes angry, not with the folks but with my sister-in-law.
What would you do??? Sincerely, Chris