My husband and I live alone, we have been married 70 years and are still in love. How can we improve our quality of life?


My darling is 96, can’t see very well, and has difficulty walking. Mentally he is pretty sharp but he lacks stimulation and activity. Therefore, he sleeps about 6-7 hours a day, plus a 10 -12 hours nite. Not much of a life when you think! Myself...87, no serious health problems except back and trouble walking. I am the sole caregiver for my husband and we wind up sleeping a lot and watching a lot of TV. Not the ideal situation and we know our life style is not healthy. How can we improve somehow our quality of life. Please help!

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What about moving to a seniors community that has activities for you both to participate in? Or join your local seniors centre? There are adaptive games and cards for people who are visually impaired. Old Grandpa Higgins could still play cribbage with super large numbers on the deck of cards.
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Reply to Tothill

I love the suggestion of audio books, you can check them out at the library and sit and ‘read’ together!

Read and discuss the daily newspaper?

Listen to your favorite music and maybe dance a little?

Get out the cookbooks and make your favorite dishes together?

Binaculars for birding in the yard?

Sitting outside in chairs, and playing ‘I spy’ while observing things in nature can be fun and challenging!

Board games or cards?

Jeopardy on TV or other game shows that are challenging?

Both my grandparents were together for 50 years (2nd marriage) and enjoyed some of these activities well into their 90’s.
Congrats on a long life together!
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Reply to Watergirl1

Around here there are senior tours to various places including restaurants, music festivals, you name it. The destinations and activities vary during the year. Prices are usually reasonable.
We can access this thru our local government or college offices.
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Reply to OldSailor

Angel, what a great living proof you and your husband are that marriage can be a lifelong adventure! opposite to a temporary commitment.

May I ask what are your favorite hobbies as well as yours husband’s?

And I don’t mean necessarily your current hobbies, but old ones. Or activities you used to enjoy, maybe like taking road trips, going to farmers/flea markets, going to the movies -as supposed to watching movies at home-, going to favorite restaurants, etc, that kind of things.

And do you drive? Or live in an area where you can use public transportation safely?
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Reply to Rosses003

Congratulations and To still love each other and wanting to be together is such a gift 🎁 I don’t know if you have children we don’t but We don’t and this may sound selfish but my husband asked me about a month into dating if i wanted children and I was honest and said no I was going to be a doctor and I kinda knew I wasn’t healthy enough and he said good because I don’t want to share you we have only been together 30 years a long way from where your at but we love to be together and I pray that continues we have had struggles due to my anorexia but I have dealt with it all my life and I am doing well but god bless you and I love the idea of a family tree or just going through your pictures
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Reply to Staffbull18

Congratulations on your long, happy marriage! 
     Do you have children nearby? Do you live in your own home? I think the audio books are a great idea. Many libraries loan out audio books on CDs or online. I just discovered that our county library has audio and ebooks on Hoopla on the internet. They show you how to sign up and you can have access to much more than is available in the library. 
     Are you able to go to a senior center for an hour or two? What about a caregiver who comes to your house for a few hours per week? They could do some light housekeeping as well as interact with the two of you. When my parents still lived at home, we had a wonderful lady who came two hours a day, four days a week. Her time was paid through a government program. She was there to give respite to whatever family caregiver was there at the time. While we were gone she would yack up a storm with my mother and then play poker with my dad. I know they looked forward to those visits. I think her services were found through our local Agency on Aging.
       What about downsizing or decluttering your home? I am not near your age, but lately I am enjoying going through every drawer, cabinet, and closet in my house, giving things away, throwing things out, etc. I do a little every day. It’s a liberating experience, makes the house look better, and allows other people to use things I haven’t used in years.
       What about church? I know my church has a very vibrant senior group, and I’m talking about people your age who not only attend services and Sunday school, but get together for lunch, go on trips, and volunteer.
       I absolutely love that you’ve been married for so long (my parents have been married 67 years), and that you are still in love. I also love that you have reached out here because you realize that you want to improve your quality of life. You are right, there is more. I hope I remember your questing spirit when I get to your age. Blessings to the both of you!
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Reply to Treeartist

Do you have kids near? Anyone to help out when things get to difficult? There’s also the option of moving to a senior living facility with more people around and staff to help out. I know it’s hard to leave your home but it’s something you might want to consider.
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Reply to Windyridge

Angel, married 70 years, that is wonderful :)

There comes a time when one admits it is difficult to do things once you reach a certain decline in age. My sig other and I use to hike many miles years ago, now we are lucky to get half way around the block :P

Since you both are sharp, ever think about doing a family tree? Something you can pass onto grown children or to any siblings, or their children, or grandchildren? The would absolutely love it !!

My late parents left me tons of old photos and a start of a family tree that my Dad was working on... so that was a help. I signed up for and went gun-ho. Now I have notebooks after notebook of relatives I never knew anything about. What was great was finding photos of relatives I didn't have, that someone else had placed on Ancestry. If you both have siblings, maybe they have photos they can share.

Found an outlaw or two... oops. Ancestry has the U.S. census from the 1880 up to 1940's. The website also has passenger lists of those coming over by ship to the new country. There is also a military website where one can print out military draft papers, etc. I also found birth records and certificate of death. I was able to see a paternal pattern of cause of death, hearth condition.

Then I did the DNA and it was pretty much what I thought it would be, but somewhere buried deep in the past were lineage relatives that were from countries I never even thought about.

Ok, I am beginning to sound like a commercial, but this is something you and hubby can do together without a lot of physical energy. Even if hubby isn't interested, he will be once you get started :))
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Reply to freqflyer

Congratulations! Such a blessing 70 years together. It sounds like you are doing great. I think everyone has a bit of cabin fever this time of year. Gardening has always been a pleasure through the generations in my family. Container and raised beds are so popular now. Much easier than in ground upkeep. Since retiring we watch very little tv but we enjoy audio books. A lot of fascinating books are now on audio. A couple of ideas and I am sure will get lots more. This is such a great site with so many kind folks. Wishing you and your husband much happiness. (((Hugs)))
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Reply to SpiritDancer

Married seventy years? Still in love? Living on your own? Sounds like you have a huge quality of life.
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Reply to Karsten