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but not full care. Do you find it hard to get away and have time with your spouse when you have a parent that needs some assistance.

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That depends on what assistance you will provide and what you will get outside help for.

I have two disabled parents. Neither can help themselves or the other. BUT, I have two home health aides that come is 6 days a week and help with them. I have 6 hours a day for myself...sometimes longer. And I have the ability to get away for extra time when I need it. I realize I am very lucky to have this.
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Don't do it. It's a good way to ruin a marriage.
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That's such a big decision. Lots of people on this forum have "been there done that". In the upper left corner of the screen are three horizontal lines. Click on those and drop down the search bar. Type in "regret" or "marriage" or "guilt" and read the threads that come up. We come from all walks of life on this forum. Details will differ but the themes that run through our threads are universal.
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I agree that it depends on many factors. And even if she is able to handle her own hygiene needs now, dress, eat, etc. there is the progression of the condition that will continue. Her needs will increase over time. Predicting how soon is difficult. My loved one went from running her own household to needing AL in just a few months

Do you know the condition that is causing her dementia? Is it Vascular, Alzheimers, etc.?

If you haven't already done this, I'd observe how she's really able to manage in the home without assistance. She may say she can do a lot of things, but that is not always the case. And the abilities vary by day. Some days are better than others.

I'd read a lot about dementia and how it effects the mind and body. I'd also read a lot of posts on this site by family members who are taking care of a family member in their home who has dementia. It's shocking what the stress can do to a home. Loving relationships turn into very unhappy and stressful environments. It's no wonder really, because the stress and constant work must be tremendous.

I'd keep in mind that past the early stage, it's quite risky to leave a dementia patient unattended even for a short while. Would you have help with her in your home?

I would consider if you and your husband are patient people who can withstand someone who repeats things over and over for days and months. (This is common with dementia patients, because they forget what they have just said or asked.) And they may be resistant, stop bathing, refuse medication, become incontinent, make false accusations about you, and stay awake all night. So, it becomes a 24/7 job. Some people get help to come in to the home, but it's still very draining. Of course, all cases are different.

I'd explore all the information and discuss it with your husband. It may put a strain on the marriage, but it would have some benefits as well. I wish you and your family all the best.
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I'm not able to tead your profile, your mom has dementia? That's quite a game changer!

How long has she had th is diagnosis? Are you in touch with her doctor, anout what she needs assistance with? Dementia robs folks of their reasoning ability early on, so I wouldn't rely on her assesent of what her needs are.

Another thing to consider is that the earlier you are able to move her to a continuous care facility, the better adjustment she may make. Lots of tjings to think about here.
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Momv, my parents never lived with me or me with them, but they consumed every free moment of my time [plus I was working full-time], and neither of them had Alzheimer's/Dementia as per your profile mentioned for your Mom.

A lot depends on how much help your spouse will be, if he will give 100% to helping you take care of your Mom. If not, then there would be a lot of tension in the household as one person is now the 168 hours per week caregiver. That is very exhausting and can effect one's health big time.

Also depends if you can line up other relatives to fill-in so you and your spouse can take some time off.... and if you can take time off, will you be able to clear your mind so that you can enjoy your self? I tried to get away for one weekend many years ago but it didn't work out, I was too worried about my very elderly parents who lived on their own and whom refused any outside help watching them.
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What sort of assistance do your mom's doctors say she needs?

A great deal depends upon what her needs are.
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