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My husband now has ALZ and in assisted living. Thank goodness we are all helping is different ways but I wonder if that POA could have forced me to have my son handle our home finances.

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Read the POA papers. They tell you when the POA is in effect and what it covers. For example his POA will handle his income and assets. Your POA will handle yours. If all your income is coming from your husband's pensions and investments, then his POA will handle your home finances.
Your POA would only control your income and assets if there are any.
If all you have is a small SS check, that is all you or your POA control.
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