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my husband 82 w/ AD has great hearing but even though I speak slowly & do not use to many words so not to confuse him, this has become a constant with him, very annoying for me & by the end of day my voice starts going.

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Right. He can't hold onto both the beginning and the end of the sentence in his failing memory. Sorry you have to listen to it, but he can't help it.
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I know how you feel. I usually have to say things three times to my mother -- once to get her attention, once for her to hear, and once to let her comprehend. I try to be patient, but it is hard not to get frustrated. It can be like talking from a different world. Sometimes I have to say things, then explain why I said them. Like today she put something in the toaster oven. I told her it had dinged, so was ready. She had a hard time understanding because she forgot she was cooking something.
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but he acts like it is me that has the problem that I just mumble & he cannot understand me ( not true) thanks for helping me out here.
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Yes, of course he blames you! That's what a wife is for!

No one wants to admit that they are "losing it." It would be an act of great charity to confess that you do mumble, and of course he can't understand you. He needs to save face, because he is losing his mind in big chunks. When you can stand it, please help him conceal the truth from himself. He will be happier and a little easier to deal with.

And come here to tell all of us what a jerk he's being!!!! Hugs.
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Jinx, that is so true. When I admit that the fault is mine (even though, of course, it wasn't) my dad is easier to deal with and even sometimes backs off and apologizes for blaming me.

Shucks that even works with my husband at times, and he doesn't have any health problems (except for not listening).

I hope this idea works for you TwoPups, at least once in awhile anyway. Good Luck!
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thank you Jinx - it worked, he is satisfied that it is not him, but me that is not finishing what I am saying. now if I could just stop the shadowing a bit I may have it made for awhile. He is just absolutely not interested in doing anything else to busy himself.
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When I had charge of my aunt in the earlier stages, I used to take her to the office with me. We had a couch in a comfortable waiting room and near a bathroom what she needed frequently. I could get her to read some of the time, and my clients knew the situation, would come in waiting for their appointment time, and be very sweet to chat with her.

But when I was busy with my clients for an hour to an hour and a half, my aunt could become restless, mostly out of boredom for lack of something to do. I'm sure this particular method I ended up using isn't going to help everybody but in my aunts case, she had always been into sewing, needlework and crafts. So first I picked up some yarn and a crochet hook and tried to get her to make the simplest of granny squares. She was unable to accomplish this which basically showed me her level of deterioration, since I knew what she had previously been capable of.

I next went to Walmart and bought a 2-inch high plastic see through tackle box with adjustable dividers. I assembled the dividers and counted the sections. Then I went to Michaels craft store and bought packages of plastic pony beads in as many colors as there were sections. I mix them all together in a big Tupperware and the next time we went to work, when my aunt was restless and bored, I asked her if she could do something really important to help me out. Sure! She was always willing to help -- but it was up to me to give her something that she WAS ABLE to do. I asked her to please sort the beats by color out of the community Tupperware and into the separate sections of the tackle box. I had enough beads that it took her between three and four hours, including coffee, lunch and potty breaks. I only worked 2 days a week but we did this for a year and a half, she was so happy to be "helping" me and only one time did she ever ask, haven't I done this before?

She and my uncle who predeceased by 20 years had also been at the card players. I bought six decks of cards, all the same size but with different backs, shuffle them together when she wasn't looking ask her to sort them out. This. was for times when we needed shorter task or when she was bored with the sorting.

Later on, I can get my mom to sort the cards once in awhile but she preferred easy rhyming songs singing along to me playing my autoharp.

Each person may respond to a different task based on their history and personal preferences. If you think about it, you may be able to find something interesting for your elder to do.
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today dad had a bad episode, he stated that his mom and dad and me and his diseased brother, (his mom and dad are diseased also) were laying on the floor dead. he saw 8 dead people and it caused an episode to where my ma had to give him an ativan, I don't have any answers or I just dont know...is he getting near the end.?
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Not necessarily but it would seem he is experiencing true psychosis. You need to get to the doctor pretty quick. He may need an anti-psychotic such as Haldol. As I have posted before, Haldol can be a lifesaver but it is also a zombie-fying substance. You no your elder better than anyone and you are probably the only one who can watch for signs that he is either being given too much or too little.
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BTW, the scary and fearful hallucinations your dad is experiencing are very stressful and damaging to the body I over producing the stress hormone cortisol, which tears the body down (cellularly), inhibits the healing process and interferes with mental wellness, all scenarios not good for the elderly, especially if they are ill or are dementia patients. Heck, too much cortisol is it good for ANY of us!
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corrections ...

damaging to the body BY THE OVER-PRODUCTION of the stress hormone...

too much cortisol ISN'T good for anyone...
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Don't forget to have people checked for a UTI when they start doing things out of the ordinary or even having what seems to be a psychotic event. My mother-in-law who has lives with us and has moderate-severe stage Alzheimer's gets UTI's quite often and it is usually her stranger behavior that tips us off.

We also have the constant repeated questions and I have found putting signs up has helped tremendously. For example, every night she asks what time to get up in the morning (though we never set an alarm for her). If I told her 8:00, naturally she would not remember that and would be in the shower at 6 if that is when she woke up. I now put a stick on clock right on the bathroom mirror and taped a sign to it to let her know what time to shower and another sign right where she has to pull the shower curtain open. I now have to be very specific, though - "If is it before 8:00 - go back to bed". As she has progressed, just telling her to take a shower after 8 would confuse her so she would go get dressed at 6:00 a.m. Adding the line about going back to bed, was a miracle worker. She now goes back to bed and back to sleep which is what she needed. I so appreciate any tips people have learned.
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