I feel selfish posting here, as I see so many worse issues... but here goes..
He saw a Psychiatrist 2x then refused meds..
We have been married for 28 yrs..I met him after he divorced his first wife (she is a lesbian. They have two children- now in their 40's. He was the ideal man in the beginning. Charming and romantic...then life happened.
We went through the evil stepchildren phase with me literally being terrorized until they grew up and out. Finances forced me to take lead and work my rear end off 70+ hrs a week traveling in the midwest..five days a week, to keep us afloat (he farmed). He quit farming and went back to commercial construction for five yrs.
Fast forward..we moved to another state, I kept my job and he went back to building some. In Dec.08, he was hit head on and critically injured..I had to care, feed, bed, bathe other for three months after he came home. I took leave, then early retirement. After he was lucky enough to live through that and walk again, he became angry and abusive. Three yrs later, our house burnt losing everything...we pulled ourselves up and re-built (ourselves). I had good income for yrs and paid (a gorgeous 42 acre horse farm) everything off...but after this house, not a lot left-(insurance compted 2/3 of coverage..) Now, he is abusive, angry, talks down to me, makes me feel like I am nothing. I know now that he was always a narcissistic, manipulating a$$.
What can I do moving forward if it gets worse? We are aging (I'm 65), should I get my affairs set up so people I love will benefit if I pre-decease him? Financially, I need to stay in. Any thoughts? BTW...he won't go to counseling. Ever. Thank you.