Hi All,
Any advice is helpful. My 88 yr old father went into hospital July 7. He is end stage renal failure, diabetic, no longer walking and has plenty of other obstacles to overcome, but he is a fighter. He went in because of complications with water retention and discovered he was Covid +
He has been quarantined in hospital for over 30 days and keeps getting tested with positive result. He is very weak and almost non-ambulatory - he was moved to a skilled nursing facility for 2 days and ended back in the ER to a different hospital from where he was. New doctors, new nurses to try and figure out what his going on with him. At this point they have treated the condition that got him there - yet with all this Covid - communication from hospital is horrible. I so understand that they are overwhelmed and understaffed but they need to be empathetic to family who have very limited contact with the family member.
Today I get a phone call they are ready to discharge my father - mind you we have yet to speak to a doctor on his current condition - how to resolve the underlying problem and his prognosis. It's make a decision go to skilled nursing or take him home. I already have a bad experience with him at the nursing facility - absolutely no contact and I saw him once from the outside patio door of his room. It was sad and especially to see him so feeble. I am trying to assess whether I can bring him home and take care of him until he passes or if he needs to go to a skilled nursing facility where he will most likely pass on...alone. It's terrible because I try and explain all this to the nurses, case mgrs but everyone is so busy and just running like machines that they cannot understand I don't have the necessary criteria to make an informed decision. My father's health has greatly gone downhill and the isolation does not help. The few and rare times the nurse face timed he barely says anything. They are using a hoyer lift to move him and my sister feels it's best to bring him home to pass on in peace and comfort of his home, I feel he should be in a place where 24hr care is available. Due to the Covid we have very limited help...all I know is the hospital is saying is immediate condition is stable and can be transferred. I want so bad to go in and see him so I can assess his condition...but we can't and all my sister keeps saying is I just don't want him to die alone. Neither do I but I don't think we can handle this and I am paralyzed with fear and indecision, yet riddled with guilt that I think he should be in a facility.
Is he at the point where he might qualify to go to a Hospice home near you? If so that would be a better choice where he would receive proper care. There are no easy answers here. You just have to trust that whatever you decide it's going to be ok.
And do remember, no one ever dies alone. Jesus will be there to welcome him home, along with loved ones that have gone on before him. Wishing you peace in the days ahead.
Thank you for that. It made me cry, but helped me with the feelings of guilt that have been wearing a groove in my tired mind for some months now.