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Thought he sent car payment in, we went to bank to get print out of account. He hadn't sent it. Landlord called about our payment it didn't have the extra for new raised rent for 3 months.

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REPAIRS for late payments:
If you refinance the car at a lower payment and interest, it will be required to have automatic payments deducted from your joint checking account. Ahhh, relief!
You don't even have to bank online.

No one dislikes online banking more than me. And automatic payments scared me, but now, I have adjusted my thinking out of necessity.

Keep your credit good for these times, imo. When changing accounts to a credit union, my credit profile shot up 100 points!
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If he is receiving Social Security income, take him to the SS office, where they will assign you to be his Rep. Payee. It will be required that you keep this money for him in a specially titled account, that he would no longer have access to.

Your POA is not honored at SS. Does he have a diagnosis, that you could bring a letter from the doctor? With cognitive decline comes a decrease in Executive function. But how do you know the bills were not just lost in the mail?

However, I trust your sense that he might require an intervention. I would not wait until there are more mistakes, or the occasional SURPRISE! (My hubs emptied the checking account-and this was WITH the Rep Payee assigned to me.)

Keeping dH informed, asking for his input, telling him it is your turn to pay bills will all be helpful to gain his cooperation. To continue "watching him,", having him report to you will cause a rift in your relationship, and be an attack on his dignity.
Growing resentment could lead to a mutiny.

If you feel unable to pay the bills, there are professionals who you could hire to pay your bills. But no one is more interested in your accounts than you will be. Try automatic payments, as suggested by other caregivers. You can run your work by a bookkeeper every three months. Be sure when and if you turn Bill paying over to helpful persons that they report to you in writing monthly, the bills paid and the balances. Or, you could check online all your accounts.

I use gift cards for the expenses for dH, Starbucks, Uber, Trader Joes, Amazon, etc., keeping them refilled monthly. That way he only needs to carry $7 at all times.
We shop together, he gets what he wants at those times.


And yes, it is o n l y $7.00 in cash.

Be sure dH has money at all times to carry in his pocket for coffee out. How much is up to you, or he can ask for more.
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abcwangfoo Nov 1, 2018
Tks much
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As a first step, I would access the account online. You can check the balances and see what’s been paid. This doesn’t mean you have to pay the bills on line. That could be a next step however.
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acb, I understand that you are watching him fill out the cheque now, but who is posting it in the mail?

My stepdad was an accountant, he managed the books for a retired employee association, he was very good with money. This week Mum discovered that an important monthly bill had not been paid. He had been diagnosed with mild dementia, but the accountant part of his brain had been working alright until this past month. 3 weeks ago he presented complex financial statements at an AGM.

If your husband's behaviour is changing, then it is important to have him checked out and assessed. Let the doctor know ahead of time what has been happening.

Your husband may not like online banking, but you can use it to keep track of what is happening with the accounts. Even if you do not use it to pay the bills, you will be able to see what is being paid and see what has not been paid.

Are you named on the bank account, or is it entirely in your husband's name? If you are not named on the account, I suggest you make sure you have some funds available in your name. At least enough for your rent. We just discovered that some banks require you to book an appointment to trigger a POA. One bank cannot see Mum until next week, which would be too late if there was a rent payment due.
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abcwangfoo Nov 1, 2018
Tks.iam POA.only when,it comes to that time.
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Iam,the power of attorney,for money,bills.Only,later when,he can't. He,doesn't like automatic bill paying,or internet.Tks for reply
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cwillie Oct 31, 2018
He doesn't have to like it, tell him that it is the modern way and they won't accept cheques any more or whatever you need to in order to simplify bill payments. Losing the chequebook and having to set this up while you wait for new cheques to arrive (a fib) might be a good way to ease him into it.
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You can have your name put on all his bills as a contact when they don't get paid. I would have automatic withdrawal on bills, like car, that are the same amount every month.
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abcwangfoo Oct 31, 2018
TKS.I,make him show me,after he writes a check out,now.
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There is a reason in the business world that there are two signatures on accounts and a third party who is not a signing authority does the bank reconciliations. If you know he is making mistakes, you need to step up and double check that things are being kept current.

You have the internet, why not start using online banking so you can double check that bills are being paid? No need to go to the bank for a statement.
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abcwangfoo Oct 31, 2018
I,now make sure when bills come,he shows me,when he makes payment.Although;does he seem,like he's just getting older,or?
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abcwangfoo, what my parents did was work as a team when it came to bill paying as they got older. Mom would get the bill out to pay.... Dad would write the check.... Mom would proof-read the check to make sure it was written correctly.... Dad would put the stamp on the envelope and take it out to the mailbox.

Surprisingly they even signed up for some automatic bill paying where the bill would go either on their credit card or pulled from a savings account.

Even when I was younger, I use to write on the calendar when it was time to pay mortgage/rent.
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abcwangfoo Oct 31, 2018
tks so much
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