This is to go with my earlier question about POA or guardianship. Only the principal can pick who will be their POA. In this case, it’s my 99 yr old grandmother who is in a nursing home in another state and is so deaf she can’t hear during phone calls. Video calls aren’t that much better. My dad is her POA and has months to live (end stage cirrhosis). He can’t take care of her finances, or even his own right now, without a lot of help.
Who should inform her that she needs to pick another POA? A lawyer? A family member? The nursing home staff? My father who is so sick he only has a couple hours a day that he is awake?
I've considered writing a letter to her and asking the nursing home staff to help her read it (in case reading is difficult for her). She doesn’t have Alzheimer’s she’s just very old and deaf.
I just want to help as her bills aren’t going to get paid if my dad is unable to do it. Grandma is not on Medicaid, she pays for her care and she has assets and funds.
A cover letter saying that Dad is concerned about needing to resign from his POA duties and is willing to pass them on to you or your uncle. You would like to set an appointment to discuss this on the phone, and you plan to try at a specific date and time.
Another copy of the old POA.
Several versions of a new POA based on the old one, giving a primary and secondary POA.
Your father, then you
Your father, then your uncle.
You, then your uncle
Your uncle, then you
(Label each with a sticky note.)
Hopefully she can be encouraged to sign one with a notary and you can follow up.
You might also want to look into professional fiduciaries.
my uncle was game for being POA until he found out how much work it would be. He decided that the financial stuff is too complicated.
Unfortunately, there is so much distrust between him and my father-it taints everything.
I honestly don’t think he and I can work together on this.
I wondered if adding me as a secondary POA would be easiest, if my grandmother would accept it. It would have to say we can act independently so I can pick up for my dad. I’d definitely get a CPA involved. I’ve called several attorneys about being professional fiduciaries and they all seem to shy away from it.
instead of flying to her and speaking in person my uncle sent his POA form and nursing home provided a notary. It didn’t get signed. My uncle didn’t do what grandma asked-provide a POA similar in substance to the current one. He mentioned guardianship, then dropped it. Now he says the finances are too complicated for him to deal with. Literally nothing is happening.
at the nursing home they are only allowing visitors to talk by phone with a glass window between them-like a prison visit.