How will I know when the end is near for her?

My mom is on hospice...ms. Daizy, that sounds like my mom. Hospice says within the next couple weeks. I am actually sleeping better this week, after about 6 months of not sleeping. I am on FMLA from work as primary caregiver...she is sleeping a lot more, and I thank god she sleeps soundly like 11 hours at night. She is needing morphine sub lingual for SOB in the afternoon, but it helps her, and makes her comfortable. She had stopped eating mostly everything for about 2 weeks, but this week, has asked for soup and today, for jello. She only eats a few bites, but that's ok. Hospice told me it takes more energy to burn and digest food than to not eat. Its the body conserving any energy it has. I wake up each morning wondering if I will find my mom alive or not, but don't fret too much about it. I have done evertthing I could for her, and now its in someone else's hands I guess. I can only hope I have someone take this kind of care of me at my end of life. May god bless you and send his angels down to watch over you and your mom.

msdaizy, you have hospice, right? Discuss this with the hospice nurse. I found the booklets hospice supplied very helpful. I read them over again on the day my husband died. I was at least a little prepared, seeing how his symptoms matched up to the final symptoms in the books.

Your mother seems to be exhibiting end-of-life symptoms, but not necessarily the very final symptoms. No one can say for certainty when someone else's life will end. But hospice is very experienced at interpreting signs and I think your best bet is to talk to the hospice nurse, in detail.

Do talk to the hospice nurse, msdaizy. What I noticed the last day was picking at covers and clothing. It resulted in getting tangled in the bedclothes. I'd straighten them out and it would happen all over again. Reaching up with his hands. More difficulty breathing. Some agitation, but not severe.

I hope your mother goes in peace, but even if she experiences some agitation at the end, be grateful for all the comfort you have been able to give her along the way. And I am so glad that she has had many years after her own caregiving role ended.

Hugs to you, dear msdaizy.

Mz Daisy - how eerily similar to my mother. She also went to complete bedrest about 10 days ago. She is now incontinent. She is totally alert at some moments, then confused the next. She has AML (leukemia, the elderly kind), and I shudder to imagine what her H and H levels are. She has been on hospice for one month. They are good people. Talk about angels among us. Their grief counselor has been wonderful to me. Peace to you.

msdaisy, Sounds like your mom may have some time. My dad could not eat at all for the last seven or so days.

I wish you strength and peace through God's love. I pray for His Blessing on you and your family.

My Mom began to eat less about a month before she passed away. Finally it was just a couple bites of food and a sip of water. Then, the last two weeks Mom was in bed and slept almost like she was in a coma.

Mom was on hospice so whenever I had any questions, I'd ask a nurse. Also, no matter what time of day or night it was, if I had a concern about Mom, I called hospice and they were always very helpful.

msdaizy I know a woman who turned away food 3 years ago Thanksgiving!!!! Her wonderful daughter takes the best care of her that I have ever seen. She has been on Hospice this entire time. Her daughter has been feeding her a combo of ensure mixed with ice cream, oatmeal, blueberry's, and other various fruits. It is truly remarkable how she is still hanging on. The grandson reads to her in her bed at night. I think this is the reason for her strong will to continue. So the answer I have to your question is... Life is a mystery and a miracle at birth and the body and mind are not the only reasons for living, there must be something stronger keeping this Mother alive, even though her mind and body have given up.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I watched mom from my bed last night, I have a monitor. I could see the frustration in her. She knows something is not quite right.
She is sleeping better these days. She shows more feeling now than before when she was drugged. I am no longer giving her those meds that messed up her character. She is back to the sweet lady I know.
She's losing interest in food all together. The last few meals have been picked at.
I see the anguish in her eyes. I am ready for her to be at peace. I pray for that time to be during sleep. I don't want my mom to suffer anymore. God Bless all of you compassionate caregivers!

Msdaizy: What were the drugs they were giving your mom? Right now the dr's have my mom on her needed drugs for high blood pressure, thyroid problem, a water pill and pottassium.. Also, they give her a stool softner/laxative because the meds she takes really bind her up. What they added though is: Effexor 37.5 mh (an anti depressant) and a sleeping pill (ambien 5mg). She was never on sleeping pills but with all the agitation and waking up it's the only thing that helps right now. Does your mom constantly "twitch" around while she is asleep? My mom moves her hands, and her lips like she is talking. One night I stopped at the NH after she was asleep (they had given her the sleeping pill) and she was still moving her hands, ect.) I was surprised because I thought the sleeping pill would totally relax her. My mom knows something isn't right. Today she was telling me she got "lost" at the nursing home and couldn't remember where her room was. She said her brain "froze". I can usually tell now when the Lewy Body is "active" as I call it. She has a glassy eyed look. Then when "Lewy" leaves, she looks and talks clear again. It is so hard to watch. I'm with you. Today I prayed with mom and asked that God please give us both peace and calmness. As bad as it is with mom, I am so proud of her. She still talks to the aids and nurses about the hope that she has and the loving God she serves. I know she will be in His memory.

connief, it's such a tremendous double loss as not only have you lost a loved one, but some people also lose their identity. The feeling of loss is so compounded when you have to establish a new you and a new life.