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I am a live in caregiver for a 90 year old female with severe dementia. I have tried everything to adjust to the severe disrespectful attacks I endure at least 5-6 days a week but, I have reached the end of my rope. She truly needs more than one caregiver working around the clock to handle her needs and provide the time away that a caregiver needs in order to be healthy, and effective. I do not get much time off and it is apparent that things will not be changing in the near future. How do I write a resignation letter that is kind and thoughtful; giving her 3 adult children adequate time to find a facility or alternative care for their mother?

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You first sentence should state that, due to unforeseen circumstances, you are no longer able to continue your employment. Give a termination date for your last day of work.
The last sentence can be that you've appreciated the opportunity to work with the lady and her family and you wish them the best.

Make your resignation date at least 2 weeks from the date you send the letter to all three of her children. Send the letters by registered mail so you know they had to sign for them and they received them. That way they can't say they never knew your intentions to quit.

I would also send a follow-up note by e-mail a week before your last day and possibly have a conversation with the lead child or the one that pays you.

Remember, you do not have to give a reason for your termination, nor should you.

Good luck in your next endeavor.
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Zoewin, a similar question was asked here:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/any-suggestions-for-a-caregiver-resignation-letter---free-of-liability-440254.htm

Circumstances are different, but the suggestions as to departure and doing it gracefully would still apply.

Assuming that you didn't sign a contract, and also assuming that you're an "at will" employee and that your services could also be terminated by your employer, you don't have to give a reason. However, it's considerate that you want to leave on good terms.

You could write something to the effect that you've accepted a different position; you're going back to school for training, you're changing careers...anything that doesn't need to be verified and could be validated.

Politicians under fire or who have committed crimes find a multitude of vague excuses to cover their departures. You could look to them for creative reasons.

If you signed a contract, that's a different situation. Termination of employment should be specified in the contract.

If you're on good terms with the family, just be alert to their concern and gratitude, and desire to wish you well....which could include asking about your next position or future plans. Maybe some time off to reassess your situation would cover a multitude of plans, and avoid the discussion of the woman's hostile behavior.
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Thank you all for your insightful input. Moving forward, I am more confident about preparing a resignation letter that will give the family time to review other options for their mom and keep me on good terms with them.

Thank you.
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