After solely taking care of my Mother, 24/7 for over 14, my dad for the last of those 3, and my oldest brother for the last 1.5 of those years, I arranged to go out of state to care for my three grandsons, during my son's Navy deployment to Afghanistan, for three years. After we discussed it with Mother, I graciously transferred power of attorney to my sister, about two months before I left.
In 2019, my middle brother (Will) returned to Georgia, and conned my sister into signing over the power of attorney to him, while Mother was in a coma. As the main caregiver for Mom - he is mean, rude, disrespectful and nasty - even forbids me to enter "his Mother's property", if my husband comes along. (Due to major personal health issues I have not driven since 1995, and solely rely on my husband to transport me every where. (We live over 80 miles one-way from Mom and want to spend more time with her, as we were always close before Will moved back into Mother's home.)
Mother verbally gave me one of her cars (witnessed on 5/12/2021 by my sister). I told all my siblings about it, explained it was not in writing yet; still they agreed it was fine with them, except for Will. He called me later and threatened to set fire to the vehicle if he ever sees me driving it; he still has possession of all the keys and the titles..
Life has really taken a turn towards the end for Mother. I so miss feeding her and interacting with her. I still call daily yet, seldom get to speak to her unless another sibling is there to answer the phone.
Immediately upon the last visit (5/17/2021) Will stated (he's) Satan, then threatened to shoot both my husband and myself if we didn't leave immediately. Thankfully, one of the visitors physically barred Will from entering the house to get one of his many guns, while we fled, with Mother begging us not to call the police about this. (The hospice nurse was there, but claims she didn't see or hear anything. How could she not....) Is there any way to resolve these type of issues about the family without going to court? How do I get to visit and still remain civil, if my brother keeps up his shenanigans?
As a travel nurse (since 1981) specializing in wound care/trauma, it pains me to see the condition of my Mother's body - full of pressure sores, etc. In spite of her discomfort, I believe she is being over-medicated by my brother, but cannot spend enough time to get evidence - he refuses to let me know what meds he gives her, how often.
Out of love, I paid off Mother's house and car, fully furnished and repaired her 4B/2B house in 1996. I want nothing from her, but her love, which she previously gave unconditionally; now, every move I make towards Mother requires approval from the evil (Will) brother. He calls me every ugly name under the sun - in more than one language - and I am tired of it. It still hurts after over 60 years of his vile treatment towards me which he days is done just because I was born. I pray he will grow up before Mother passes away.
How do I get to visit and still remain civil, if my brother keeps up his mess? Does this mean I must just stay away to keep peace, as the eldest brother advises? If you have any suggestions, ideas, to deal with this, please send them my way.
Yes, I pray every chance I get for patience, forgiveness. and love unceasingly for all of us, as we were taught since birth but I'm the youngest of six siblings and at my wits end.