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I try daily to understand how this disease works. Dementia is really triffling! I speak to Mom daily but at times shes angry and sound like my Mom. Then a few minutes later shes sounding lost and afraid. Her words are fine when angry but when shes afraid she cant get words out. Really hurts to see her this way. Ive learned to agree to everything good or bad cause if not its a fight and I dont like seeing her this way. Its scary that I am afraid to be around her but at same time I miss her. I feel Im lying to her each time she talks of getting home. Shes in an assisted mental facility. I take care of getting her toiletries. She believes she will go home soon. I just need to understand the mood changes and what goes through their thoughts..

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You are correct in agreeing with every thing your Mom say. A demenita person does not live in our world, we have place ourself in their world when talking to them. There is no harm in letting her think she will be coming home if that makes her happy. Always speak slowly to her and make eye contact with a smile, never talk from behind because they remember your expression even when they do not remember you words. If you are helping her do something, explain what you are going to do and about how long it will take. You might have to repeat what you said several times as they forget quickly.
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Yeah, dementia sucks. You are right to avoid the arguments when you can. The person you love is still in there, but has lost the ability to reason, and just wants and feels what they want and feel, and maybe realizes things are not good and ont getting better, but can't quite make sense of it; not knowing the "why" they tend to settle on concrete explanations that are often horrible but may seem less horrible to them than the idea they are losing their own faculties. The desire to go back home and have things the way they used to be is totally understandable, however irrational and impossible it may actually be. You just have to decide what really is possible, what really is best, and do what you can to provide any gratification or happiness they might still be able to enjoy.

Been there, done that...It's hard.
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She needs to be seen by a doctor about this. If it's an infection like a UTI, that needs to be addressed. If it is indeed the beginning of dementia/alz, then that also needs to be addressed so that she can get on Aricept or Namenda to slow the disease down. Either way, she needs to be seen by the Dr.
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