Follow
Share

My 75 yo husband had a slow bleed in the brainstem 3 months ago, it is simillar to a stroke in the brainstem. he is also bedridden, due to a broken hip, it has affected his eyes, speech and memory. he is also very, very disoriented. he has slowly been getting worse. in the last couple of days, he isn't drinking much, and not urinating much. he is still eating good, when i wake him up. if i let him, he would sleep 24 hours a day. he is also very agitated. always fussing w/ the covers, reaching out for imaginary objects, speech is also very slurred. the drs. say nothing can be done. i was just wondering if this is the beginning of the end. still knows who i am, but can hardly say my name. any thoughts would be greatly be appreciated.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Thru my life I have developed a 'very thick skin' and can handle almost anything that comes my way...when my Dad was ill and passing , Hospice is an added comfort knowing for even strong people like me how helpful they are even if they are not physically right by your side; I sat down with 2 hospice people 2 nights before Dad passed and just knowing I had them at the drop of the hat was enough for me....all I had to do was call, and someone would be there for me...during our meeting we laughed, they let me speak randomly, they empathized, they were so wonderful and necessary for my own well-being...my husband and son gave me support, but these were strangers who got into my being and just their presence worked for me. I never spoke to either one of them afterwards, but I knew if I'd need to again, all I'd have to do is call.....God Bless them !!! :)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My husband had hospice at home, but only 4 days before he died. He was staying at a long-term care rehab hospital after a broken hip and 3 revisions (due to hospital error). The staff didn't realize he was in his last hours until their weekly patient assessment conference. Neither did I. We removed his feeding tube and everything else he was attached to. He had a severe bedsore from being in the hospital for a month and the rehab hospital for another month. Hospice okayed him for home care. That was on Wednesday. On Saturday afternoon they brought him home. He had a BM in his bed that evening and I wasn't strong enough to turn him over to clean him up. My son in law had to help me. I had hoped hospice would have instructed me on what to do in that event. On Sunday the nurse brought the morphine and asked him if he knew that morphine would pretty much keep him asleep till the end. He said that would be fine with him because he was in so much pain. He died about 1 a.m. on Monday night while I was asleep.

I wish he had had home hospice a lot sooner. I wish I had had him with me so that we could talk uninterrupted by the staff at the rehab hospital. I'm a minister, and while we were having a communion service the rehab physician just walked in and interrupted as if our service weren't important. I told him in no uncertain terms what we were doing and that he would have to leave. I had on a ministerial stole which he must have seen. We could have at least had privacy during that most important time. My husband wanted to make his last confession during communion. Hospice gives you privacy.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree with all the praise and encouragement to you to ask the doctor for a referral to hospice! I had home health through a neurologist, who were good, but not the kind of care my mother needed. We switched to her primary doctor who referred a home health/hospice evaluation, and she was approved for hospice. They have been super- so helpful and available! No one knows when we will breathe our last, but I am confident in the experience and knowledge that hospice has displayed up to this point!
Blessings to you on this journey.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree with all the praise and encouragement to you to ask the doctor for a referral to hospice! I had home health through a neurologist, who were good, but not the kind of care my mother needed. We switched to her primary doctor who referred a home health/hospice evaluation, and she was approved for hospice. They have been super- so helpful and available! No one knows when we will breathe our last, but I am confident in the experience and knowledge that hospice has displayed up to this point!
Blessings to you on this journey.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ruralwannabe,My mother because of her very SORE arm and now contracted hip because of all the medical issues has become bedridden in just 3 months. Check with your doctor and a local recommended Hospice/Home Health company. My mothers body is giving out on her. Her mind clarity comes and goes because of stroke and pain. Hospice has connections to keep the patient comfortable and somewhat pain free depending on their needs. So far my mother responds to all of the nurses and aides very well,but they work real closely to me. If anything she accepts their help over mine. They also , if you are the caregiver , to know what to do and they are easy to get hold of if a question arises. Hospice allows my mom to stay in her home with me. They are wonderful! I do hire private pay aides to give me a needed break 2/3 times a week. Hospice comes often but is not 24/7.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

What does that mean "hospice at home". This may be what my mother needs. We hope she will recover her quality of life after a stroke, but she is a picky lady and don't think she would settle for having others care for her body when her mind is (almost) intact and so we might need to let her stop fighting. Been told LTC at home isn't an option since she needs to be lifted in and out of a wheelchair. Is hospice an option at home because they don't expect the patient to get out of bed?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have hospice right now! A BLESSING! I am the 24/7 caregiver and they are wonderful. She had a stroke 4 years ago recovered enough to have a quality life. She is 85 and broke her hip 3 months ago,fractured her arm 5 weeks ago and is now bedridden. It is true what they say a broken hip is hard for older people to recover from,plus it is all on my moms stroke side that has been compromised also. It is not easy.my mom can go either way. God only knows but Hospice has saved my sanity and she is in her own HOME! Hope this helps someone!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

When I first read your question, my thought was, "The day a person is born is the beginning of the end..." Yes, from the time we enter this earth we are all bound for the end, although we in this culture like to pretend that death is optional and certainly would not be an option that we or anyone we know would choose! From what you have said, I would also speak to the doctor about a referral for hospice care which could prolong not only the days of your husband's life, but also the quality of his life as well as the quality of your life and the life of others who care about your husband. Often doctors will not speak of hospice because they are not willing to address the emotional/spiritual issues that arise when patients and families begin to prepare for the end of life. But if the pt. or family requests a referral to hospice, the doctor will write it. ...or you can call hospice directly and speak to someone in admissions. I think you will find the admissions staff to be extremely sensitive, kind and helpful. Blessings to you and to your dear husband.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My husband was on Hospice last year. I thought it was the end...few months later he was up and about, most of the symptoms went away..
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

A phone call to your Dr. to recommend Hospice is required and should be all it takes to get him in the program. Hospice helps in many ways with supplies and relief. I am a caregiver that takes care of Hospice patients. It may not be the end they can help him recover better then anyone, you have choices he doesn't have to stay on hospice when and if he gets better. If it is coming to an end it is so great to know he won't have to suffer in agonizing pain, they make him comfortable and also you. God knows when it is time and I'll say a prayer for you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My heart goes out to you, also, Suziesmom, and I don't think that anyone here can truly answer your question: " When is the beginning of the end"?
We do know that it will happen...but when? No one knows for sure.
A brain stem bleed is very serious, and I'm amazed that he is still conscious.
He is only 75 so concern should be for any cardiac events.....shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, slow heart, but not pain.
I wouldn't be concerned about the agitation or the fact that he sleeps so much.
Here's what may happen: Speech will become non-existent and hand gestures will take over. He will definitely know who you are, regardless of his inability to speak well. I hope that he is on Oxygen and receiving medical care 'round the clock. Pls. talk to another doctor.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Hospice is fantastic, they are there for the patient and family. they will sit and listen to you to help you understand what is happening and what could happen. They stay with you for long after you r loved one is gone. Hugs and take care
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree totally, past experience with my mother-in-law. Hospice is a wonderful resource. if he improves U can always discharge from Hospice.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My heart goes out to you and this is so difficult to witness. My mother recently passed away - she had different problems than your husband - but many similar symptoms. Might be a good idea now to have Hospice come in and evaluate him. They are truly amazing people and will have ideas and suggestions especially how to keep your husband comfortable and things to be watching out for.

They will evaluate him and determine if he qualifies for hospice care. I learned that the doctors do the best treating certain symptoms and hospice treats all symptoms and they have so much experience at this.

Better to call them in sooner than later - it doesn't mean your husband is at the end, but appears that comfort measures would help tremendously. Hugs and blessings to you.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.