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I have come to realize that I have had it easier than most of you, but now things are moving to fast for me to keep up.


Back information, my mother will be 76 yrs old in June. She has Vascular Dementia. I have her DPOA, copy of the will, deed to the house, titles to all the trucks and travel trailer. I am in the process of cleaning up her financal mess and have taken over her finances. Kicked my dead beat brother to the curb. She has just stop driving in the past month. Plus, in the process of cleaning out the house. This has all happen in two months (well, me kicking my brother to the curb was a year ago and the house is taking longer than I had hoped). Ugh! Man am I tried!


I have noticed now that she is burning every thing she cooks. She has killed two skillets and a few pork cutlets. Just about three weeks ago she could cook eggs, grill cheese, soup and toast and maybe a pork chop in the oven.


We have a rocky relationship, however, she has been going along with me for the last few months. Scary!


So now, how do I tell her she can no longer cook or how do I get her to stop cooking?


I never get a chance to thank all of you in the past for your advice and support, so I thank each and everyone of you. Thank you! Help!!!


I had no idea what topic to put this under.

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I've used a microwave with 90 year old MIL, not dementia but very easily confused. We had to take the new one away because all the recipe type options were way way too complicated. We found an old one that only had high/medium/low as options with a dial type time control. I can't remember how far it went (from memory I would think 15 minutes), but MIL learned easily how far around to turn the dial. Occasionally I see them in OpShops and think 'that's gold for someone elderly'.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Oh boy! This is a difficult situation you're in. You mention she doesn't want to cook anymore but still needs to.

I think between the stove and the microwave, I'd pick the microwave as being a safer choice. Perhaps, you will need to cook the food and have it ready and she just have to heat up in the microwave.

At a local donut shop, there'a microwave that the owner puts on the counter for guests to use. It only has options for 30 seconds, and 1 minute. If you want more time, you will have to push those buttons again and again. I think a local gas station also has this type of microwave. Don't know where you buy one of those, but they are safer for your mom to use than the regular one.

Also, I recommend you remove the stove knobs.
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Reply to polarbear
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I would evaluate her very closely before letting her use a microwave. My Luz set the microwave to 25:00 to warm up a cup of coffee. I had one heck of a mess to clean up. She put something metal in there once and we had a lightning storm.
She put something else in there that smoked the place up real good.
If she can still read instructions and follow directions then go ahead but watch her for changes in the near future.
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Reply to OldSailor
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Shell38314 May 22, 2019
Thank you for your reply. My mother still can use the mirowave but doesn't that much. But thank you for giving me heads up. Thank you again.
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Can you think of some things that your mother could cook safely? I am surprised that a pop-up toaster is too difficult, but most of the things on your list certainly have potential to be cooked at too high a temperature, for too long, or to boil over. My guess is that the microwave may be the best option. If it is used to reheat a frozen meal, either home cooked or supermarket, perhaps you could stick a label with large writing of the time required to reheat it. I use masking tape with thick texta written on it as the label – the instructions on supermarket meals are often in tiny unreadable print.

If she really enjoys cooking, it might be possible for her to do it while you are there, plate it in the fridge with wrap and the timing label, so that she can heat up her own cooking when it's meal time.

It would be nicer for mother to have a few things that she can cook, rather than to be told that she can’t cook anything any more. You may know if she will respond better to ‘safety’ or to ‘cost’, of food or appliances. If she won’t remember to stop using a cook top or oven, there are knob covers that make it difficult. These ideas may only work for a while, but could help both of you now. Best wishes.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Shell38314 May 22, 2019
Thank you for your respond. That's just it...she did have a few things to cook...eggs, soup, grill cheese sandwich, but now she is burning those things up as well. She really doesn't like cooking anymore. But she gets hungry at weird times so she will make herself a couple of eggs or grill cheese sandwich. Thank you again!
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