Follow
Share

My mother is 88 with dementia. She plays Bridge and Bingo at the senior center. One of the ladies today approached my sister and said she really doesn't play anymore. She doesn't know what to bid etc. Just too confused. I dread telling her. I know she can still play Bingo. She won 3 games the other day, but Bridge is Tuesdays and Fridays and she'll hate staying home those days.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I didn't mean bingo, I meant bridge. My mind is fading rapidly. :)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh, I thought her dementia was milder, since she was still able to try to play bingo. I see that it is far more advanced than I imagined. When it comes to advanced dementia, there is often no good way to do something. We just have to find the kindest way to do it. I understand the women's game would be damaged if she continued to play. I hope that there is something to substitute so she won't miss her bridge game so much, especially because she still thinks she can play.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mother still thinks she can play bridge at 91 and she thinks she irons and cleans her own house and thinks my fathers alive and he's been gone for 10 years. We couldn't tell her she couldn't play bridge anymore. THAt said she still can win at Bingo!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Wow, that's a tough one, so sad. It reminds me of when we took the car away from Mom (when she was 92) She couldn't get over it, and you can't reason with dementia. She insisted she could drive.
Sounds like the only thing you can do is try to distract her on bridge days, get her to go somewhere else until the game is over?
Reasoning with a dementia patient is so hard because they truly don't understand or recognize their cognitive regression.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This is heartbreaking. The bridge ladies take their game very seriously and often wage money. If someone is not performing up to par, they will quickly dispatch that person. It sounds like your bridge ladies are being more merciful than our local ones would be. Unfortunately, that puts it all on you to deal with. I would be tempted to tell my mother the truth, but in a gentle way. Something like, "You know the problem you're having with bidding, Mom? That's making it hard for everyone to play. And you know how serious the others are about the game. Maybe we can find three other people who don't take it so seriously." This might work if she accepts that there is something wrong with her cognitive abilities. I imagine she'll be hurt, but maybe she'll understand.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

That exact thing happened to my mother. I found bingo on Fridays in another town close by and we just told her they don't play bridge on Tuesdays anymore because they didn't have enough players!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I would approach the Director of the center and ask her to set up a special bridge table for those like your Mother. Don't tell me they are not sensitive enough and aware of the problem:( I think this would be ideal. After all, what is the reality a senior center is dealing with? She is not the only person!!!
Otherwise, maybe gradually suggest she is needed elsewhere at those times for whatever reason. Or, send her to my house. I have no idea how to play bridge. Lol xoxo
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Gosh, that is sad for both of you.

Have you considered and adult day health program? On the days that my husband didn't like the organized activity (such as Bible study) he could read or nap or do jigsaw puzzles, etc.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

They have nothing for her on Mondays. Wednesday and Thursday she goes to Bingo. But there's nothing else Tuesdays and Fridays.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

That is sad. I think I'd avoid the direct truth. Could you think up some other reason why you can't take her on those days? Can she go the other 3 days of the week?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.