How to talk to Mom (84) about estate planning?

Follow
Share

84 Year old mother lives in FL daughter lives in NJ. Mother just hired 24/7/365 live-in caregiver for her condo. And hired a Certified elder Care worker for doctor visits, managing perscriptions, and any medical emergency. However she does not want to give up drivers license or writing checks. Most of time she is mentally good but her friends are noticing some bad memory days.
She wants me to help with her finances but not all her finances. But doing partial check writing makes it difficult for me to do any estate planning with a limited estate that is worth about $600k.
I cant see her writing checks for utilities and me writing checks for workers.
How do I discuss with my mother that I should take care of all her incoming and outgoing money? She is really old school and wont give up control. I am afraid if she develops cognitive issues she could loose money by not watching her accounts closely.
Signed "Difficult Mother".

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
3

Answers

Show:
Hi Microview, maybe wait until next time she asks for help with the dollars if you don't think that will be long. Then plain old explain the "too many cooks in kitchen theory". I'd suggest to her my taking over the "business part", as in, ok I'll write the checks for all bills and expenses, then cut a monthly check into an account she has total control over for her spending cash, incidentals, like $800-$1000 a month. That way she doesn't forget to pay any bills, no one can ask her directly for $ and rip her off, (she can tell them she'll have her daughter cut them a check), but also leaves her with some dignity and freedom.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You go to Florida and petition for Guardianship IF she is incompetent. Yes, it will cost you a few thousand to get that done, but there is too much at stake here to not do it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I would thoroughly vet anyone she hired to live in her home. I would also make sure she has a Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Power of Attorney signed and you have access to an original. If it's in her bank deposit box you won't have access to it if you need it and she can't provide you access.

What if she kept her license, but got rid of the car. Is there any reason she needs one now?

What if you take over finances, but she continues to pay the cable or phone bill? It sounds like she's thinking pretty clearly with hiring people to help her. I would take that as a positive and continue to discuss it with her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions