How to take care of my aging parents who are taking care of my granny who is suffering dementia?

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My 61 year old mom and 72 year old dad are taking care of my 94 year old granny who has dementia. my ganny also can hardly hear and is almost deaf. so communciacting with her is very difficult(even with actions). She keeps nagging my mom with a question - 'has rice been cooked?' And even if the rice is cooked she keeps going and trying to make it herself and opening vessels, trying to put on the gas etc, which she actually cannot do. She leaves the taps open, hides her things( and with that my parents things as well), and then goes about on a hunting spree and messes the whole house looking for her things. My mom has to bathe and dress her too. My mother is suffering from oestoporosis herself. They hardly have a moment to relax as she is constantly nagging them.

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Jenmen- your parents have a handful plus! Do you live there too or nearby where you could lend a hand? The more hands that can help the better. However, relatives often are not listened to well by the ones needing care. Does your grandmother have medicare or money that can be used for in home care relief for your parents or to move into a nice NH or at least some respite time ?? Soemone earlier mentioned that possibility. 94 years old comes with a multitude of care issues that few of us are trained for, especially when dementia is part of the equation. "Kid proofing" the house is also a strategy that might be used to help keep grandmother out of things she shouldn't be into. Caregiving is stressful and if all the burden is falling primarily on your mom she needs some care too. :)
Best wishes to you and your family!!!
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I guess since we were able to keep my mom at home my first suggestion to Jenmen would be to see how she can help. Placing granny in a nursing home is not the option. Perhaps funds are available to hire additional help, have granny go to day care, other family members helping mom. I am not saying keeping granny home is easy but it is possible. Sometimes I get do disheartened when answers are posted stating it is time for a nursing home and the decision is do cut and dried. It is not and a nursing home is not the only option. Jensen, you sit down and figure out all your options, mom and dads options (which may differ from yours) and go from there to make the right/best decision for your family. Good luck
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I am 61. From the sounds of it, your grandmother needs to be in a facility, for her own safety. What is the plan for her, if she outlives your mother?
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Suggesting that other family members help out is useful only if there are other family members and they are willing to help out. Those are big "ifs" especially if family members don't have a sense of responsibility or live too far away to be helpful or if family relationships are strained.
Given her parents' ages and health conditions, she needs to explore care options for granny outside the home. The dementia related conditions will only worsen, placing a greater burden on her parents as they age.
This is a case where caring for one's parents is misguided. Granny needs skilled care and her parents need relief.
We don't know where Jenmen lives or her family's financial situation. But she needs to find someone can advise her about her family's options for granny's care outside the home.
Losing one's parents brings so much pain. So I would do everything I could to extend their lives. Being a full-time caregiver is guaranteed to shorten their lives.
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Ask Granny's physician for a doctor's order stipulating that she is 'home bound with dementia' and needs Home Health Care assistance. Medicare will cover Home Health with a doctor's "order". They will bathe her, change linens etc.
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I would definitely Agee with other family members helping in the care of granny to give mom and dad a break. Maybe someone rose could learn how to shower granny then spend the morning so mom could do her own thing. Get granny a special box with a lock to put her things into. However make sure your mom has an extra key. Maybe this would help, maybe not. Ask mom what you could do to help. Perhaps you helping her with the cleaning and laundry, keeping granny occupied, cooking dinner. Tell mom you want to help and ask her how you can do that. Then enlist other family members. Maybe cousin could take granny out to lunch, get her nails done. Once you put some thought into this and talking to mom I am sure there are many things you can do. On occasion may family chose to do what they thought I needed instead of asking me and from experience, this was so the wrong way to do it. I would go over my parents every morning and stay with my granny and my parents would go out to church and breakfast. I offered but I knew this outing each day meant a lot to them. Get creative with your offers/suggestions but include mom. Good luck
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Being in the same position with my 104 year old mother, I'm 68 and my husband is 72. If my kids would pitch in and help out by giving me one day a week so that I could go shopping and take care of my own needs, it would be wonderful. The best thing you can do for your parents is pitch in and give them a break.
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Jenmen, your Grandmother cannot help what she is saying or doing, that is what dementia is all about.

To learn more about this terrible disease click on the link below and scroll down to the articles. Many are about Alzheimer which is a form of dementia, so the articles will still be very helpful to both you and your parents.

There might be a time where your parents will need to hire a professional caregiver who is familiar with dementia, or a time where you parents might need to place your grandmother into a continuing care facility for her own safety and well being where there are 3 shifts of caregivers watching over her.
https://www.agingcare.com/Alzheimers-Dementia
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