You survive by making sure that you're taking care of yourself as well. I was a long term caregiver of many years for my husband, and I had to learn the hard way that I mattered too. Once I started making myself a priority and doing fun things that I enjoyed, it allowed me to be a better wife and caregiver. And don't ever turn down help if someone offers, as you can't do it all yourself. And don't be afraid if things get to be just too much, to seek out other alternatives for your husbands care. God bless you.
As a couple, move together to independant or assisted living. Assuming you are near his age you will not be capable of caregiving full time. One bad fall could permanently disable you.
Hi, I cared for my older husband for 5 years. It is not easy. I built a support system as best I could - medical professionals who did home or virtual visits (VA home based primary care), people to call if he needed urgent assistance (family/friends, 911), and a counselor to talk with to get things off my shoulders. I also had ways to get out of the house and have respite away from my role as caregiver (aides, friend who sat with him twice a week). It didn’t always work out perfectly, and it was still very stressful. But, it worked for us. He passed away in December.
I’m glad I was able to keep him at home. However, I recommend that you look into all your options, including places that can care for your husband, so you can make an informed decision on what works best for you and him.
And don't ever turn down help if someone offers, as you can't do it all yourself. And don't be afraid if things get to be just too much, to seek out other alternatives for your husbands care. God bless you.
I’m glad I was able to keep him at home. However, I recommend that you look into all your options, including places that can care for your husband, so you can make an informed decision on what works best for you and him.
Just read your profile. You have a lot on your plate!
If you don’t mind, I would like to ask you a few questions.
Are you sure that you are able to be a ‘long time’ caregiver?
I certainly don’t have to tell you that it is the hardest job in the world! You sound worn out.
Is it possible for you to get help?
Have you contacted Council on Aging for an assessment of your husband’s needs?
Have you considered placing him in a facility?
Do you have any health issues? Please take care of yourself too.
Wishing you all the best.
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Take care.