Follow
Share

OMG where do i start?! this evil b*tch has done everything she could to make me hate her Fing guts! when my husband and i first got married my in-laws moved into my house after only a week of our wedding, from the star she started talking about how i keep my house, and went as far as to call me a b**ch and told my husband lets kick her out! to my surprise he went along with her for a minute and it was beyond me! that was week one! as the marriage went on, she called me names and talked sh** to my new family about me! during the forth year of my marriage she told my husband to leave me, and one day he was just gone! she lied about where he was and told me, if i wanted to move in with her to save my marriage, i needed to seek mental help because i was depressed over my spouse leaving. I checked myself into a mental health place to see if i was crazy or something, and later moved to new york with her and my husband. She gave me h*ll!!!! from calling me bs and hoes and turning my husband against me, to accusing me of killing a fish!!!! My father-in-law just went along with all she put me through, because she's always right! She pushed me one day in her house, yelled at me and told me i needed to be locked in a mental facility and if i didn't lock myself away, she would ship me back to seattle! where id be homeless because i gave up everything i had to move there, so i did! was told i wasn't crazy, and sent back home with her. she treated me like sh** till i moved out a year later, the h*ll i went through with her is hard to type. Her thing is she gives me a roof over my head and food to eat so i shouldn't feel upset with the way she treats me. Now we are back in her stupid home and today i mentioned that i didn't want to be a burden and that i would hurry to find a job so i'm not in their hair, she called me negative and started going on about how i treat her son even though i hop if he says hop, wake up at five am to make him breakfast and he always gets dinner, but i put my negative energy on him??? this by the way had nothing to do with me not wanting to be a burden. she cursed me out!!!!!!!!! wtf!!!!!!!!!!! so later i let it go, i was happy and didn't think about what happened, so my husband comes home and she pretends to be fine in my face. my husband goes outside with her and after a minute i follow, she tells me i need privacy to talk to my son!!!!!! i had to sit there for thirsty minute while she sat outside talking crap to my spouse. i was so upset and i had a right to be!!! so all this night i've been angry and i mean fed up angry!!!!!!!! and when she sees i'm angry shes having fun and laughing with my husband and everyone!, so when i was happy she didnt like that so she stirred up more drama and when im upset shes happy!!!!!! i can't stand her!, I clean everyday the bathroom the kitchen the livingroom clean the litter box and sometimes cooks for everyone and its never enough! i keep my makeup in a pouch in a corner behind all of her crap on the bathroom counter, and she says my crap is all over the place? its in a fkn pouch?????????? please help

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Sallysue, let us know how you're getting on.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I would not tell you whether or not you should remain in this situation, but it does seem very toxic. I urge you to buy this book and read and study it:
Boundaries Book By: Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend It will help you, as it SO MUCH helped me, to see that you need to learn how to set boundaries with all people that are healthy and are good for you. You will learn that the dynamics going on now are not healthy for you or them. IF you want to stay in your marriage, you both may need marriage counseling or your husband may need to be willing to read the book too. My suggestion is that if you are staying there, as others have said, your salvation will be to get a job and keep some for you and contribute some to the household....but do it in conjunction with setting some new boundaries as this book would describe for you. If you decide you are leaving, you need to learn about boundaries before you get into another relationship, so that you enter a new one as a stronger woman! And another option may be that you and your husband join together....and move into your own place, away from the in laws. Go to them to help, but do not live with them. Marriage generally comes with the expectation that one's spouse now comes before the parents. The married couple becomes the team that no one else can infiltrate. Get the book, it's in paperback and all over Amazon. There is even one aimed at setting boundaries with elderly parents, but this one is aimed in general at just all the people you co exist with....it's like the beginners guide to it all. I wish you lots of insight!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Privilege can be invisible to those who have it. Your husband's failure to see your agony and poor treatment is an issue, but at some point you have to seek counseling to be able to realize that the treatment from your in-laws REALLY is unfair and cruel, and that you and only you can change how you react to it. Either your marriage is salvageable or it isn't - and you need counseling for yourself to determine what your limits are and then counseling for the two of you to see if change is possible. MIL does not want you around. Hubby has to decide if he wants you around and whether he wants it enough to make some changes. Continuing to live with MIL under these circumstances and conditions is insane if your marriage has any value at all. You don't say why you are living there, but you'd be better off and have a better chance of recovering a scrap or two of self-esteem in a working person homeless shelter or abused women's shelter.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

sally, and when you get a job,,, please put that money in an account that is your name only. This may cause WW4 from the sounds of your very hostile, male oriented family in law, but it is for your own safety and sake.. you need to get out and NOW!! When I got married my father (may he rest in peace) told me to ALWAYS keep some money in my own name.. and after 33 years of happy marriage I still do! This family you married into is crazy. And do I understand your own father recorded conversation?? and he will still not support you emotionally?? You need to lose all these toxic people. easier said than done, I know... but you are going down the drain fast!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Sally, I've been married 43 years. Never talk trash about someone's mother whether you are married to them or not.
Get a job, if only to get away from her during the day and recover your sense of independence. It really is good therapy.
Mothers in law and daughters in law should NEVER live together. Once you have a paycheck, put money away towards that goal.
Your husband wallows in the praise lavished on him by his mother, which is perfectly natural. Your job as a wife is to make him feel like more of a man than she does. Yup, it's a competition and you have a certain advantage, being his wife.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

You would bring a child into this circus?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

by the way when i said my son i meant my husband
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

well this morning after my in laws left on vacation, I noticed how nice they were to my son telling him anything you need you've got it before they left. so after they left i mentioned the fact that he was on their good graces, because they do all this lifting him up and making him fell good he's getting his life together, and he feeds into that. so i told him if you were in my shoes you'd see what i'm talking about, and he stopped talking to me! its been 13 hours and he hasn't said a word. before my mother inlaw went to my spouse, we were talking about having a family. now that they are acting so proud of him for becoming a truck driver, and they are not getting along with me, the slightest thing i mention he acts like i'm no longer important to him. I can't ever talk bad about his mother but he could sit for thirty minutes and listen to her bitch about me! she can curse me out and i should just not care and apologize for even saying that when i get a job i'll be out of you guys hair. i just wanted them to know i was trying to look for work and that i know they need space. i hate the man i married, and even worst, my father said he would turn against me. i shouldve known, because this is the same guy who secretly recorded our arguments. i found out after looking at his phone. i agree with you guys about how i react, but its hard when she's tearing my marriage apart.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It sounds like your mother-in-law knows exactly what buttons to push with you and she is successful when pushing those buttons.

I agree with blannie. Where is your husband during all of this?

Maybe you can find a way to not let your mother-in-law get you so upset. She probably feeds on your anger and resentment so try not letting her behavior and words bother you. Keeping calm and not letting her upset you will take a lot of practice but it sounds like she loves getting your goat and she gets a great pay-off when you get upset. I'm sure she loves it when you're upset.

You can't change her behavior but you can change how you react to her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Why are you staying with these people (including your husband)? I'd have been gone a long time ago. How long have you been married? Why can't you and your husband live on your own? Please tell us more about your circumstances.

From what you've written, I'd get out of the house and probably out of the marriage if your husband doesn't support you in all of this - and it sounds like he doesn't.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.