My best friend's mom has dementia. The mom is 98 years old and lives in her Brooklyn apartment with 24/7 aides.
My friend's mom is increasingly agitated, disoriented and fearful, calling her daughter 25 to 30 times a day recently, asking when her daughter is coming to see her. And if she knows where to find her.
Daughter, in her mid 70s, visits several times a week. According to the mom, she hasn't seen her in months.
I have encouraged my friend to reach out to the mom's doc for an evaluation for psych meds. " But we reviewed her meds in February". Could it be a UTI? "It wasn't last time." Is it time for a facility? "My mom has a bad back; she must be able to sit on a couch, not in a wheelchair".
When I suggested today that there are reclining wheelchairs and that surely her mother is not the only old person with a bad back to enter a facility, my friend seemed incredulous that there might be any other solution than keeping her mom at home.
My friend is going to become ill from the stress of this situation. Do any of you have any ideas of how to break through her resistance to change?