Follow
Share

I just became my Mothers caregiver. I need help finding resources for financial aid. I am 52 yr old female 6ft tall. I have degenerative disc disease and RA. My mother needs 24/7 care. She has a permanent tracheostomy and had open heart surgery at age 84. The trache she has had since 2002. Anyway she has had a difficult time recovering after this surgery. too many things went wrong. I have had home health care coming over for a few minutes two days a week but there starting too fade out. Her surgery was in June 6th. She was in icu for 25 days then sent to a skilled nursing center for 3 1/2 months. She's been home under my care since Oct 18th, 2015. I know that I can improve myself I just need some resources to help me. Like How to bath her in bed. No-one has shown me that yet and I make a mess of it. As well as kill my back. And I do ware a back brace (doesn't help) Sometimes my ADD kicks in I my schedule get all twisted around. Her meds aren't given to her on time because for example I gave her a bath today and washed her hair after that we were both exhausted and I plum forgot her meds until 1PM today. I feel terrible. I need more organization tips. and how to take a brake tips. stuff like that. Maybe where I could find a chat-room online to let off a little steam. Any thoughts? Thank you for spending the time to read my dilemma. and double thanks if you've answered.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Why did you bring her home from a skilled nursing facility? No one person can do 24/7 care.

You need to get her on waiting lists for every nursing home within an acceptable radius. Apply for Medicaid for her if you haven't already.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Given all your health problems and the amount of care your mother needs I can't imagine how you are going to continue this at home. You need to find a way to get lots of in home help or place her in skilled nursing care.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Are you taking your ADD meds consistently?

In a nursing home, your mother would get her meds on a regular basis and be bathed by people who know how to without killing their back.

Read the stories here about optimistic people who promised their moms not to place them in a nursing home 24/7 by themselves and what it has done to the them.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

1KrazyKat, may I ask when did your promise your Mother you wouldn't put her in a home? Was it when she was alert, mobile and could do things for herself?

According to your profile, you have already went into your IRA for income which is a huge mistake. What will you use for your own retirement? And you lost your health insurance. Hopefully you can find health insurance quickly, you do not want to be without due to your degenerative disc disease and RA.

For your Mother's best interest, and for your best interest, you need to find other options, there is no way you can work 3-shifts of caregiving. See if your Mom can qualify for Medicaid. Medicaid will pay for long-term-care. There is nothing wrong with being in a "home", my Mom is there and getting much better care than I could ever provide, and that is what is most important.

Sorry for what sounds like tough love here, but we have read too many stories of grown children developing serious medical conditions due to heavy lifting and stress of being a caregiver 168 hours a week. Note that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind their loved one, those are not good odds.

Lot to think about.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Krazy, do you have any friends that can pitch in and help you get set up? You need to identify then establish a process for each area that is causing challenges. If you have a smart phone, set an alarm for times that meds need to be given - you and Mom and give them on time. Get a visiting nurse to come and show you how other things should be done.

I hate to be the voice of discouragement, BUT based upon your description, I don't see how you can handle all of this yourself. Call the county office of aging in the morning and tell them you need HELP. See if any of the houses of worship have volunteers that will sit with your Mom and give you a break. If she is totally bedbound, she can easily develop bed sores and that will be another HUGE problem. Call in hospice for Mom. If approved, she will get a hospital bed that goes up and down to alleviate you bending over. This will also provide aides to assist with bathing.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

You may be optimistic, but you're one crazy cat. If your mom is not ambulatory, you are out of your MIND to think you can care for her.

Put mom in a nursing home where she can get the care she needs and get a job.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Kat, in the title of your post you had mentioned financial aid.... please note that the vast majority of grown children do not get paid for caring for their parent, unless the parent can pay them from their own retirement fund. If your Mother can do that, then you would need to draw up an employment agreement.

Some States have "Cash and Counseling" but that varies from State to State, but worth checking into. Some States this is funded by Medicaid, thus your Mom would need to qualify. But don't be surprised if there is some type of payment for you to care for your Mom that it will be minimum wage and less than part-time :(
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Hi! You are wearing a back brace. This question should be asked of your doctor, who may prescribe physical therapy. There, they will give you exercises that won't hurt you, and they will teach you how. Don't try to start this out at home without a doctor's advice.
That is why no one should be recomending exercise to you. What do you think?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Send gives good advice here Kat. There's back problems of all sorts. I do exercise to prevent recurring sciatica but if you have a disc problem be very careful as you could increase the amount of damage.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Excellent advice Sendme. I want to add, there are good CNA training videos on youtube to help you with techniques in caring for your mother, but if you watch them you will see many tasks recommend using 2 people.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.