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My mother moved in with us a year ago and against our better judgement allowed her to bring her parakeet. Long story short...we can no longer stand the constant noise. It is as if we have TWO birds. Not only that-- she allows the bird to fly about her suite.. It leaves droppings in numerous perching spots, bird seed mess etc. I'm afraid that her own noises will amplify when the bird is gone. And yes, it's going. Either that or my husband leaves!!

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Mom agreed to let my daughter keep the bird!! Thank goodness! I drove budgie 2.5 hours to re-home him with my sweet Emmie and realized during the drive that MY MOM was likely driving the bird crazy!! Budgie was quiet during our road trip until I made chirping sounds and then we would both call it quits. Emmie confirms this. We can still visit Budgie. Anyway, while I was on my drive my mother fell again. No broken bones but she is badly bruised. Mom is still "chirping" ;)
Being English and affectionately referred to as a "British bird" throughout her life, mom can now laugh about it ...and with a smile says, "I suppose you kept the wrong bird!" Lol
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Rather the bird be PTS. Not the vet! A bit squirrely here...
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The bird being the immediate problem, can someone take it 'temporarily' (forever) for a visit? Maybe it has a health issue and the vet had to be 'put to sleep'. Many humane societies take in birds to re-home as do local pet rescues.

Please allow me to be off topic for just one second - mama died 10 days ago and I haven't laughed since until just now. I'm sorry for the OP's dilemma, but you guys are a hoot!!
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I have to laugh at this - not at you folks dealing with the noise, but because it reminds me so much of my own grandmother, who had severe dementia with hallucinations and delusions. She nailed windows shut to keep burglars out because they were cooking in the kitchen and hiding her pots/pans (to justify why she couldn't find her favorite pan), she painted her car with house paint and a roller, insisted she was a CIA agent, working with the FBI, the president, etc - and lurked behind bushes spying on the neighbors. So you can see visits to her were interesting, to say the least.

Grandma had 2 birds - Cockatiels. Anyone who has had these birds knows they can be incredibly noisy. They were in a big cage in the corner of the kitchen, and Grandma was always stationed in an opposite corner of the kitchen at the table, coffee in one hand and cigarette in the other. Grandma was also deaf as a post, even with her hearing aid up full blast. She would sit and listen to the birds squawk and screech and say, "Oh listen, it's saying 'pretty bird!' - listen it's saying 'son of a b---!"

I tell you....we plotted the demise of those birds in SOOO many ways. Roasting them and serving them for dinner.....hooking jumper cables to the cage and giving them a jolt every time they started screeching....

we were evil, I tell you....just evil.
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I agree that the bird may be the most immediate issue, but other things will come soon. It sounds like she forgets what she said and forgets what she has done. My loved one would swear that she did not put the heat on 80, but she had. Her brain did not allow her to recall doing it. So we had to put a locked device on the thermostat. I told her it was a device that helped the thermostat save energy. She was okay with that. She never tried to get inside the box after that.

Dementia, if that is what your mom has, makes it impossible to really make any real agreements. She won't be able to honor them. You can't expect her to really actually appreciate what harm the bird may be doing. You just need to do what is going to work for you, while being as sensitive as possible to her feelings.

If you are going to continue to care for her, then I would not likely take on anymore responsibilities, but if you chose, you might trade her bird for one that makes little noise. There are also some pretty realistic looking fake birds that move and even make a little noise. They are motion activated. You can also get cats and dogs who sleep and snore. They come with their own bed. Check online with Perfect Pets online.
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Yeah, I vote for a lock on the cage door. Assandache! I like your style! Lololo. When mom says, "next you'll be locking me up," just laugh and tell her, "Well....now that you mention it...." With a laugh. You aren't being unreasonable. This is one of the first in a long line of decisions that mom's not going to be happy about. Get used to it. ;)
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Oops! Someone left the window open!
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jeannegibbs, what a wonderful kind caring way you have of words. I do admire you.

Gosh Lillybet, just wring the poor birds neck and silence it so you'll have golden time and your mom will be without... or, find a nice solution that will benefit everyone, bird included.
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"No Mom, we are definitely not thinking of locking you up! You are not a bird, and you don't poop on the furniture! I love you very much, but let's see how it goes with the bird in her cage most of the time."

I wouldn't let her pouting dictate your behavior.

At the same time, you might be considering the cost of having upholstered surfaces covered with something easily washed, and having carpets and chairs cleaned periodically compared to the dismay not having her pet will cause your mother. How important is it to you to have her suite in a pristine state of cleanliness?
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Thanks jeannegibbs for your informative note. Much appreciated. We contemplated the 'locked cage' but her response is always, "I suppose you'll lock me up next!" If you only knew the half of it! I'll research VBD and speak to her doctor. Thank you!
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Thanks. Is she showing any signs of dementia?

When you ask her to be more quiet, what does she say? Is she aware she is doing it? If she likes music, does she have a radio or cd player in her suite as a source of audio stimulation?

It sounds like even if you get rid of the bird, you will still have to deal with the noises, and as you predict, perhaps even louder. I anticipate that making her give up the bird will increase her unhappiness without really solving your main complaint.

What if you put a little padlock on the cage door (while Mom is in agreement about keeping the bird in the cage) to "help her remember and keep her promise." Maybe the bird only is out for a short time while you are cleaning the cage and adding food and water. Put protective covers on the bird's most used perching spots while you are doing this. (Do you take care of the bird's cage, or is she able to do it?")

I think the bird is the least of your problems.

What Mom is doing is called Verbally Disruptive Behaviors (VDB) and is is often associated with Alzheimer's or other dementia. You can look this up on the internet and get suggestions for how to handle it, what causes it, etc. And you certainly should bring it to her doctor's attention.

If you can get at the feelings she is trying to communicate, that might give you some clues about handling it. For example, is she in more pain than she is communicating directly? Is she lonely? Frightened?

Maybe getting her out of the house and into some interaction with other people might be good for her (and a break for you). There are "adult day care" centers that are available for one or more days a week. Senior centers often have suitable activities. Many organizations offer field trips with wheel-chair transportation. Even if it doesn't lessen the VBD, some outings may be good for Mom!

At 82 your mother may have many years ahead. You need to come to a comfortable understanding and acceptance of her disabilities (which are almost certain to get worse), or you need to find an appropriate residential situation for her. We certainly don't want to see your husband leave over this! Do what is best for all of you, without any "guilt." Your mother's disabilities are Not Your Fault. Finding or creating the best environment for her (whether that is in your home or elsewhere) is your contribution as a loving daughter.

I hope other people will have suggestions for you. I'm just afraid that getting rid of her pet may not solve the problem.
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Age 82, repeated hip fractures. Needs assistance with walking. Overall good health. Curious why she's making all sorts of noises throughout the day...mainly repetitious ones. She seems uncomfortable with silence while it is golden to me! No additional family caregivers. Acquired bird shortly before last fracture. .We have a very large cage. On minute she agrees to keep it caged but the next it is flying about.
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How old is your mother?

How long has she had this parakeet?

What are mother's impairments? (Does she have COPD, dementia, cancer -- what is the reason she is living with you?)

Could Mother live on her own? Have you and she considered alternative living arrangements?

Would you be satisfied if the bird was kept in its cage -- maybe a deluxe, large cage?

We need a little more information to discuss this issue with you.
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