There is the current thread "How do we talk to our mother about not driving anymore without upsetting her?" All the same answers apply. I'm presuming that if you ask a question, he shouldn't be driving and you don't want him to drive. YOU must make sure he doesn't. If brief reasoning doesn't work almost immediately, it won't ever work. The only answer is removing the keys (they got lost perhaps) or the car (had to go to the shop to get fixed, didn't it?). That's therapeutic lying. The rest that follows is either redirection or broken record.
Today Dad took the drivers written exam for the 3rd time in 8 days. Failed again. (Got up at 6:00AM to take him to the DMV at 7:00, spent 4 hours with him) He is mad at me. Says "you got what you wanted". I have witnessed his poor driving for several years and have begun to hear tales from friends too. I encouraged the Dr. to ask Dad to get it checked at the DMV after his March bout with pneumonia and loss of cognitive ability. He's always been aggressive when angered and came be verbally abusive. I feel I made the right decision to have him tested. I am willing to live by the States decision. But he is SOOO angry and I do understand that this will be a big loss for them and a life style change. I have avoided getting into any arguing with him and have managed to avoid fueling this fire. But I do not know if I can be around him or drive him to DMV one more time.
Can you remove the car? He couldn't drive if it is not there? Or at least get hold of the keys? You will then certainly need to provide him with transportation to the places he needs to go. A friend of mine had a dad who had dementia and vision problems. His license was taken away and yet he kept trying to drive which could have caused him to get injured or killed and harmed others too. My friend got his keys and he was unable to drive because of it.
There is a lot of information you didn't give us. But, a generic suggestion.. First, identify his needs for driving. Does he need to go to the grocery store, church, doctor appointments, etc. Then find alternative transportation to allow him to do the things he needs. If you can not take him places yourself, perhaps hire someone once a week to run errands with him. Does he have access to public transportation where he lives? If he does, is he able to use it? Once you can address his needs, then you can proceed to the next step.
I got lucky. A medical event sent my dad to the hospital for a couple of weeks. When he was released, we drove him to is new home (in assisted living, 400 miles from his house and truck).
I got lucky. A medical event sent my dad to the hospital for a couple of weeks. When he was released, we drove him to is new home (in assisted living, 400 miles from his house and truck).