Second marriage for both of us and now going on 20 years. He had PD when I married him but was told not really a concern and certainly dementia was never considered a possibility. I resent not getting the full picture in advance and now am stuck as his full time caregiver as I approach my 77th birthday. I’m working harder than at any time in my entire life, coping with his incontinence and bed wetting. I yell at him constantly and verbally abuse him. I’ve taken him to numerous doctors to try and help with all the UTIs, dementia, etc. Nothing helps and there is no respite care during COVID. Plus if it does become available it’s is far too costly as they all require at least a month. Our condo is 850 sq ft so hardly room enough for another person to come in. We would all be on top of each other so what would be the point? I just feel horrible that I’ve become such a nasty person and frankly I’m stuck. He’s competent enough where he refuses to even consider alternate arrangements. Just need to get this off my chest. Looked into hospice and he was “borderline” so not acceptable for their program. Palliative eval this week. By the way he’s had PD for 30 years! I know it’s only going to get worse. We can’t afford long term care and yet don’t qualify for Medicaid. So it is a no win.