How to stop a narcissistic uncle? He’s getting worse.
Hello, I have been dealing with some things lately, my mom died in April, know my uncle I don’t know how to handle it even though I live Vegas know. I’m glad I live across country, my dad says he’s getting worse he was over there last weekend helping him and telling my dad to shut up being mean. My uncle has had health issues the last two years he’s just plain mean it’s beyond at this point. No one wants to be around him from what my dad said just because you been sick you don’t take it out on other people. When I was there he was really going at me I don’t know why trying to start a fight. I told my dad he’s a narcissist how to handle a narcissist it’s all about him. His wife handles him well I feel sorry for her but she can be just as mean being around him 24/7. I just don’t like my dad's side of the family never did he knows they know I told him one time. Anyone dealing with a narcissist family member?
Just tell Dad he is not obligated in helping this brother. He needs to tell him as long as he abuses him that he will not help. And when he does abuse him, walk out.
If this is getting worse, maybe Uncle should be checked for a UTI. Maybe some Dementia or just miserable because of health issues. But, you don't bite off the hand that is feeding you. Dad just needs to stick up for himself.
Unless a narc is willing to change, they will not. Professionals will often state to just walk away if you can. If you can't walk away, then give the facts and step away. I encourage you and your dad to check your local libraries for books on narcissism and how to deal with them. You can see the hard copies or go online. Good luck.
"I don't want to hear any more about what uncle said/did, let's talk about something more pleasant". If dad circles around and brings up the current gripe again -
"I'm sorry I can't help you with that dad, maybe you should spend less time with the" and change the subject. He continues to bring it up you firmly end the conversation -
"OK dad, I already told you I'm tired of talking about this, it just gets me upset and it goes nowhere. I'll try calling you again another time". Do this every time.