After whining CONSTANTLY on this forum and getting some nice "wake up" slaps in the face (thanks) I realize that it will be in my own personal best interest to reconsider placing Daddy in a AL facility WITHOUT the overnight care.
Quite honestly... I'm afraid (the words OWN PERSONAL interest alone make me cringe...am I being selfish?).
He HATED the last place. He just holed himself up in his room and would refuse to eat only to call have the front desk staff call me hours later because he was hungry.
He loves his overnight care giver, and putting him in the AL would mean that we would have to let her go.
I toyed with the idea of adding more in-home care (I realize that even the two weeknights and daytime Saturday and Sundays that I currently cover are TOO MUCH for me... terrible I know), but accommodating my needs would mean paying yet another caregiver which we would only be able to afford for about 2 years with his savings (that I promised I wouldn't touch... that would be where we would get the money for the additional care)
So... it's more economical for him to do Adult Day care and be in the AL in the evenings
I would also consider bringing back the Adult Day Center transportation service (which Daddy hated because the drivers didn't get him to the center when HE wanted to arrive...yet another task I took back on to make him happy)
The only thing is... he's going to go completely BANANAS about the change. He then calls his ex wives in tears complaining that I'm such a bad daughter which makes me feel AWFUL. I just don't want to disappoint anyone.
So... should I make him a part of the decision or just show up at the AL like "welcome to your new home!"?
Is there anything I can do to make this easier for him while soothing my old guilty conscience for breaking my promise to not put him away?